Dear David...{Boundaries: Letter 18}

Dear David...

You are one very active two year old. As I write this, right now, you are jumping on "daddy's bed" (your nickname for our bed) and catapulting into the pillows. I've been feeling so overprotective lately the more you explore. And I really don't mean it in a negative way. So I felt like I needed to write this so hopefully...maybe...one day...you will understand my desire for you to understand boundaries.

When we cross the road, I explain how we must keep our feet behind the lines. But your innocent curiosity, though super cute, is also super scary for mommy and daddy. Without thinking, you dart across without realizing the danger. Boundaries don't always keep you from good things. That was a lie I bought into growing up. I was rebellious because I thought no one wanted me to have fun. It wasn't until I got older that I saw what was truly on the other side of the line...and that those who tried to implement boundaries were trying to actually protect me.

Bro. John preached on a Wednesday night a few years ago and I want to share with you what he said because it touched my heart. He spoke about the need for boundaries as Christians. The Shepherd sets up a fence to protect us but our gaze is often so focused on what's beyond the fence, that's our only desire. We crave to be on the other side because it looks better. Our eyes are not in tune with the Shepherd's because if they were, we would notice the wolf waiting for curious sheep to leave His side.

So while it may seem like the fence is holding you back, it's actually saving your life. Sounds a bit extreme and I don't want to make you scared. It's good to take chances and try new things. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm saying is the adults in your life see things you do not. So when you are growing and learning, trust the boundaries we set even if they are annoying or don't make sense.

Just like our God has boundaries for us, we also must live within safe fences. This mindset is not popular in today's world. No one has boundaries anymore. But I'm here to tell you that just because your friend's parents have a different set of rules...you are not their child. You are ours. You are God's. We have a standard and a purpose. And we will do our best to teach you what it means so you don't just obey out of habit or ritual.

When you have a relationship with the Shepherd, the words of the wolf don't matter to the sheep. Because they are too close to the Shepherd and only obey His voice. The enticing spirit of the wolf does not effect those who are not hovering by the fence edge. But those who wander away from the Shepherd's side are less likely to hear His voice and fall into the trap of the enemy.

Just remember that boundaries is another way to express love. Just like marriage, boundaries must be set in order for that marriage to work and be the best it can be. Without boundaries, tragedy lies. So please know that our hearts are on your side, not against you. As you grow, keep your gaze on the Shepherd and ears on His voice. And you will find everything you need by His side.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Modest is NOT Hottest: Letter 17}

Dear David...

One of the biggest things about being your mama is making sure you honor and respect women. In a world where anything goes, what will never fly with your daddy and I is treating ladies like their not ladies. You know what I mean. Well, not yet, but you will eventually.

Recently, the phrase "Modest is Hottest" has been spoken a few times around me. It got me to think. I used to agree with it. Sounds cool, right? We are so hot because we are modest and not like those "other" girls. Kinda makes us feel powerful and like modesty has a purpose. 

Well, David, modesty does have a purpose and it goes much deeper than just "hot." Modesty is a form of preservation of the heart, mind, soul AND body...not just what we wear. The Bible says that we should not be conformed to this world. I'll take it further: neither should pure Christian values be subject to the language of the ungodly. The term "hot" promotes a sensual, sexually feeling. Does that sound modest? I don't think so.

Modest is NOT hottest. Modest is holiness. 

When a young lady covers her body in a way that pleases the Almighty God, it shouldn't be seen as "hot." Would the Lord use that term? We want to make dressing modestly an acceptable thing but it only matters because it's acceptable to God. A woman's heart is reflected in her wardrobe. Why else would some defend what they wear by saying "I dress for me, not for anyone else"? God cares just as much about the image woman portray through clothing as the very heart that chose what to put on. It is important to Him and we want to think it isn't. Even worse, we want to believe that the world AND the church accepts a modest wardrobe as the hottest thing ever instead of the holiest thing ever. 

It's by all means okay to be attracted to modestly dressed girls, but it should be a reflection of the holiness standards they have. Ladies who don't bare all and save those images for their husband should be applauded. In our church, they are. Just be aware that words have meanings and we must be purposeful when using them. Before you go around saying something, find out what it means and if God's okay with it.

I don't think God is okay with people calling his daughter's hot. I don't think the King of kings approves of the term being used for the modestly dressed princesses that will inherit the throne some day. No. He thinks of them much higher than that. And so should you. The Lord Jesus has called his adopted little girls to holiness. This calling means we no longer wear the clothing that represents poverty in sin. We have a new destiny!

So if you ever hear the phrase "Modest is Hottest", check your mindset. Remember that modesty is defined by the Lord's terms not the world's terms. It only took words for God to create the world. Let's not allow the world to use one word to dirty the holiness that is modesty.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{When You Have To Stand Alone: Letter 16}

Dear David,

It boggles my mind that you are two years old now. As we celebrated this crazy milestone last month, I took a look back at all the great moments we've had with you. You've enriched our life in so many ways. The joy that naturally spills out of your character is contagious. Just thinking about one day that smile fading because of a trial in life breaks my heart.

I very much have been feeling like I'm in Mama Bear mode lately. Every family is different and will raise their children the way they see fit. There are definite morals and beliefs we'd love to instill in you. We will do what we can to show you the beautiful grace of God and what He wants you to know from His Word. This probably won't be a popular parenting avenue.

In a world that is so desperately in need of truth, there will be those among us that mean well but have been deceived. Whether it's a best friend or a family member, they may not agree with your convictions. Son, when you feel something in your spirit is not right, stop and ask God why. Yield to that still small voice. Even if it means sacrificing relationships and standing alone.

I feel that way about a lot of things at the moment. It can be very lonely standing up for something that few people accept. Even in little things, we can feel overwhelmed and pressure to cave in. So we don't have to stand out. So we can go back to being comfortable instead of being in the midst of the crossfire. But don't. Don't go back to being comfortable, son. When God tells you to stand up for what is right, it doesn't matter if you're the only one who thinks it's right. Because He is on your side!

So when you want to stand up and speak truth, do it. So when you feel the Lord tugging at your heart to give something up because it's competition for His affection, do it. When you feel everyone is against you like the prophet Stephen, aiming their stones right at you, ready to bring you destruction...just stand.

Because when you stand alone, you are never really alone. We serve a God that overcame the grave. He made Himself known by becoming flesh and giving His life for us. When we obey Him, even if no one else sees what you see...God sees. Even when no one else believes what you believe or hears what you hear or feels what you feel...He does. All of it. He is with you. And He will never leave you.

My David, I wish I could be Mama Bear all the days of your life. And I'll probably try. But you will grow and will be your own man some day. You will have experiences and create memories that will shape you. I just pray that deep inside you will pursue the path of righteousness in Jesus with everything you have. And in those moments when you have to stand alone, you will feel His presence. You will feel peace in the decision to yield to the Spirit.

Even if no one else wants to stand beside you.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{She Won't Be Perfect: Letter 15}

Dear David...

On and off I've been thinking about how much I need to start praying for your future. Not only what job you'll have and who you'll become as a man...but who you will marry, if you do marry at all. It is my duty as a God-fearing mother to intercede spiritually for you both, now and then. It sounds so crazy saying this. You are going to be two years old this Sunday and we are going through the potty training adventures at this moment. Your only concern today was eating another bite of brownie and rolling toy cars down the hallway without wetting your pants.

Prayer is powerful. I've told you that before in this letter. I will do all that I can to encourage you to pray for your future spouse and when you are married, continue to pray for her and with her. Why? Well, she won't be perfect. She will have experiences that will shape her thoughts and dreams. They may not go along with your beliefs. She will have made mistakes. She will be over-emotional and over-critical at times. She might become needy and lonely. She won't always say the right things and will some times argue points that are untrue. She will be fully human; full of potential on a path that hopefully is guided by her Maker.

She won't be perfect, David. And neither will you. It is easy to envision the one we truly love as a perfect vessel, in the beginning. We almost idolize and worship one another. However, the only perfect One is the Lord Jesus Christ and as you both seek Him first, you both will be perfected.

So even when you see a glimmer of the imperfect nature inside of her, remember your vows. Even when you don't understand why she is upset or crying, hold her. Even when you feel your world is being shattered, don't forget who is part of it. She won't be perfect but you are still called to love her with all you have. And love is an action word. Look to Jesus for that demonstration of what perfect love is so when she disappoints you (because we do that as humans) you can see past her imperfections and will encourage the potential she has inside.

Above all else, remember that we all are clay in the hands of the Potter. It pains me to think that I'm probably making a mistake raising you right now. I'm constantly praying that as a parent I'm doing the right thing and as a Christian woman I'm producing the right example for you. But one thing I do know is no matter how long of a list you have of what you seek in a woman of God, she won't be perfect. But love her anyway.

Love, Mom

Dear David...{20 Things I Don't Want To Forget: Letter 14}

Dear David...

These moments that I have with you have been the best times of my life. In the beginning, I thought being a mother was more about what I'd be teaching you...but here I am realizing I'm nothing but a student in the hands of the Lord, as He uses you to show me precious things. And though I know teaching and training you to be a man of God is one of the biggest callings a woman can have, it keeps me humble when I realize we both are learning new things together.

This world will make you feel busy. This world will have you filling up daily planners, scheduling events and looking forward to the months ahead. Sometimes it's hard to focus on now. These moments. This list is to remind myself of the things I never want to forget as your mother, within these sacred minutes. You'll be potty training soon, moving to a bed and growing up before our eyes. I want to stop being busy and start remembering...

I don't want to forget:

1. How you look at me like I'm a hero. 
2. The laugh you have that lights up a room
3. Your innocent curiousity
4. The silly jokes we share and how you love that I "get" you
5. How much my heart aches when I think of this world & the pain it might cause you
6. The way you wiggle your piggies
7. The way you pause whatever you are doing to listen to an airplane
8. How excited you get when daddy arrives home
9. The look of delight when you have a balloon
10. Your sleepy eyes peering over the crib
11. The way you rub your ear when you're tired
12. How much you love to dance
13. The way you spin so silly
14. Your soft beautiful curly hair
15. How you hold me when you think I'm leaving...
16. The way your head fits perfectly on my shoulder
17. Your squeals during bath time (one of your favorite things to do!)
18. The need you have to explore and be independent
19. How afraid I feel because you deserve the best...and more...
20. The bond we share as a family

It's these special nuggets that mean more than any dollar amount, any job, any house, any materialistic object.  I want to take time every day to soak in our relationship because some day it will change. Maybe I'll make a joke and you might not laugh anymore. Our silly jigs will be babyish. You might spike those lovely curls with hair gel. The sweet Bible songs might turn into rock songs. There will come a time that you will make your own choices...and reap that choice, whether good or bad.

It's easy to live in a dream world, staying busy and thinking this is how life will be forever. Though I wish I could pause this time right now and bottle it up so you never have to experience hardships or trials, I must believe that my God is your God and what He has done can happen again...but for you.

Tears are flowing right now because I feel powerless. Mama will not always be there to protect or guide you but we serve an omnipresent, omnipotent Lord and Saviour who is always with you! Thank you for teaching me to live for now. I don't want to be a distracted mom, with my eyes more on my phone and Facebook than your precious face! So I will continue this list in my journal and documenting facial expressions, likes, dislikes, emotions, events, quirks...

One thing I don't ever want you to forget, David, is how much I really love you. Even if you grow up and think I don't...what I have written, I have written. I would move mountains just so the sun was out of your eyes. I would build a bridge to a rainbow if you wanted to touch it. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my son. Remember that.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Love Never Fails: Letter 13}

Dear David...

Another week has gone by and you are surprising us every day. Lately, you've thrown mommy and daddy for a loop. That's right. A big ol' loop and we are spinning, confused and unsure how to handle things. You are starting the "terrible twos" and I have to admit, I thought that label was fake. Until now.

But no matter how angry, frustrated, annoyed, out-of-control you get: I love you. And for the record, no matter how angry, frustrated, annoyed, out-of-control mommy and daddy may be with one another: we love each other.

Because love is not a fuzzy feeling. It is an action. While lust will control your emotions and warm your heart, God's definition of love shows us there's more than that. When He manifested Himself as flesh to be the sacrifice for our sins, His love was showcased within that action (Ephesians 5:2/1 Timothy 3:16). Becoming a man was God's love in action. Sure, we warm His heart. Sure, we are the apple of His eye. But to God, love means doing something even if it means sacrificing life. Because through that sacrifice, through that action, love is fulfilled and therefore can never fail.

When you grow up, the definition of love is going to get twisted. The world will try to teach you that love means to "be in the moment", "go with the flow" or "it must be good if it feels good." Know this: that is lust, not love. That impulsive desire is not love. Love is not impulsive. Love is not last minute. Love is not "in the moment" but love is an action that leads to precious moments. I'm not going to act like a love expert. Not even close. But I am learning this daily and want to share with you what God is teaching me so that you may (hopefully) avert the path I went down. 

True love, the love defined by God, never fails. It is eternal. It does not puff up or act pridefully. It doesn't hinder. It doesn't withhold good things, hold grudges or spout bitter words.

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

In those moments when you feel unlovable, remember that there is a Lord and Savior who made Himself known so that you can know true love. He died for you and sent His Spirit to comfort you.

Nothing hurts mommy's heart more than thinking about how much I love you. It hurts out of pure joy...and sorrow, that perhaps one day your heart may be broken. And you may question love. But son, never forget who defined Himself as love. For the love of Jesus can withstand any trial and tribulation and nothing you go through will ever change how much He loves you. 

Love,

Mom

Dear David...{Imperfection is Okay: Letter 12}

Dear David,

Today I'm writing this letter to you via the sofa. That's right my boy, mommy is choosing to relax today. The weekend was pretty eventful. You are peacefully napping and I usually take this moment to catch up on my to-do list. Yes, toys are on the floor. Yes, laundry is waiting downstairs. Yes, dishes need to be clean. But you know what? It's okay to be tired and rest. Do you know why? Because most days are not like this. It's okay that not everything is perfect. I want to talk to you a bit about that.

You see, son, mommy always felt like she had to be the best at everything. Sometimes I still feel that way but thankfully the Lord is working on my heart. Growing up, I always felt this pressure to be perfect. It consumed me, more than I really knew. If something went wrong, I felt like I couldn't cry. Perfect people were not suppose to cry. At least, that's what I thought. And though I hardly used the word "perfect", it became a mind-consuming habit. You know, to be "the best."

I craved attention and even more, I thrived on the fact that I was better. The more someone else proved they were better at something or ranked higher, the more angry I became. Which caused unhealthy competition and an unhealthy image of myself. I want to tell you that it is okay to want to be better at something. But it is also okay if you are not the best at it. As long as you are trying.

Hear me, David: you will want to be perfect. We all fall into that trap. Especially as a Christian, we know (or should know) the value behind transformation in Christ. Did you catch that part? IN CHRIST! He is the only One who is perfect and someday we will be like that, when we are called home. But on this earth, we are dust and flesh, striving to get by day by day. And though I am not suggesting that we need to accept the sin in our lives or to justify our evil ways, I am suggesting that if you are not the best, it's okay! As long as you are doing your best...in Him!

I can think of all of the mom's who are working away right now, cleaning, cooking, sewing, balancing two child while changing the bed sheets...but what is that doing to my spirit? It devalues all of the hard work that I do accomplish on a daily basis. Comparing yourself to someone else is never fair because we do not know their entire story. We may look at someone as being the "perfect" role model but every one has a battle to fight...and you may be victorious in a battle that constantly has them swept under the waves.

I don't tell you this to be prideful, my boy. I just want you to see that no one is perfect and that's OKAY! Imperfection is okay. But...

Calling someone names to make you feel better is not okay.
Wanting what your neighbor has is not okay.
Comparing yourself to other people is not okay.
Thinking of yourself as better than other people is not okay.
Striving for a position or title for attention is not okay. 
Putting things before your family is not okay.
Trying to be the best without Christ is not okay.  

As you walk this life, please do me a favor and remember that there is no such thing as perfect down here. When you want to be good at something, do it with integrity and passion, not selfish pride. When you want to be a better person, seek after the Lord for direction and not your vain thoughts. One day you will feel the pressure to be perfect, but know that this life is meant to perfect us...meaning, help us achieve a greater level of development. We should be growing, learning, reading, striving to be like the Lord Jesus Christ...and someday, we will be like Him. But that will not be today or any day down here. And that's okay. Because one day we will be who we need to be and "perfect" cannot even begin to describe it.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Your 2013 Fall Bucket List: Letter 11}

Dear David...

Baby boy, momma is kind of emotional. As I was searching for a proper photo for this letter, I stumbled across a bunch of fall photos of you last year. You were so small...and round! We loved it!

I was thinking about how you touched leaves for the first time. It was a very strange experience for you but it was thrilling for Daddy and I. To watch your facial expressions, wondering what you were holding, slowing putting it to your lips...then realizing it didn't taste as good as you thought.

Now that you are 16 months, walking and talking your cute lil' face off, I am even more excited about fall this year! We can actually do things together that you might remember, or at the very least, enjoy. You are definitely our explorer. That is another nickname we have for you. You get giddy when there's cabinets to open, doors to close, baskets to sift through, furniture to climb on or under...all with a bright, big smile :)

So, here is a bucket list for this autumn season that will hopefully enhance those senses and the natural adventure inside of you:

Visit a pumpkin patch (pick your own pumpkin!)

Go on a hayride (you adore car rides so this will be special)

Play in a corn maze (being chased is one of your favorite games)

Make a painting with leaves (creativity is in your blood so let's involve nature)

Crunch leaves between fingers (I want to video your reaction this time!)

Jump in a leaf pile (we laid you in a tiny one last year. time to go bigger.)

Build a scarecrow (this would be a great activity in grandma & grandpa's yard)

Make homemade apple recipe with momma (you love food and helping me.)

Make first seasonal craft (We kinda did this already so let's check it off!)

Try apple cider (Another reaction I'd love on video.)

I cannot wait for you to really experience the beauty of a New England fall season! Leaves changing, crisp air, the smell of homemade baked goods, warm hot cocoa, spicy apple cider, pumpkin everything under the sun...you are going to have the time of your life, we will make sure of that!

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Things I'll Tell Your Future Wife: Letter 10}

Photo Credit / j&s Photography

Dear David...

Just typing out the title of this post made mommy's heart and tummy hurt. You are barely 16 months old and I don't want to think about you getting married {if you do}. Right now, I love how you only have eyes for Daddy and I, running around the living room content with a remote control and a Popsicle. However, my mind was completely blank with zero ideas for this week's letter. Until the Lord illuminated a personal situation, thus inspiring me to write this post. So even though in the future I'll be speaking one-on-one to your wife-to-be, right now I'd like you to know what I will say. This way, you will know where my heart is coming from.

There are plenty I could say to your future wife. I don't want to talk with a lot of words with empty impact. Simple statements can make more of a difference than a long lecture. So, that being said, I'll tell your future wife...

Edify, Uplift, Bless.

Nagging never works. You may want to nag my son because he didn't complete a chore in a certain time frame or you don't feel like he is listening to you. Please, don't. Not because I'm protective {which I am} but because it does no good. Nagging tears down and doesn't build up. Look at the positive. If he completed a task, who cares if he did it because you asked him or that it was finished five minutes before you came home from Ladies Conference! Be grateful. Tell him he did a great job. Thank him. Make him feel good. Bless him with words of edification that will uplift his self-worth. It will only move him to want to bless you back. This will stop a lot of "power struggle" fighting and improve your communication

Always Be Faithful.

My son may not always do the right thing. I will do my best to raise him as a fine gentleman, strong in the Lord and filled with integrity. But he is his own person and will make his own decisions. Let him. You can still state how you feel but sometimes letting him make mistakes {even if it affects the entire family unit} can be for the best. It is scary. It is hard. But no matter what, you be faithful to the Lord and what He says. My son may decide to do something against God. It is very difficult for us to stop people when they do that. But we can pray for them. We can still go to church, read the Bible, and listen to the preaching. Be faithful to God, to your marriage, to your commitment. Try not to let my son's wavering rock your walk. Keep going. Because even though you may think he is far gone, he is still your husband and watching every step you make. Make those steps faithful.

Don't Hoard Love.

There will be times you may feel unloved, ignored or taken advantage of. Know this: it may not be intentional. We females are emotional beings and this can cause feelings that are only one sided. If my son says or does something that offends you, go to him with your concern. Don't hold in anger and hoard love. It is a natural instinct to protect ourselves from harm. You must remember that you've done or said things that probably offended him too. If you did, ask for forgiveness. Regardless if he forgives or not, love anyway. Love because God is love and He did not hold anything back from us. It didn't matter how He was treated, He still loved and continues to love. Hoarding love causes sickness and poisons a heart. Hoarding love burns bridges and suffocates growth. Let it go. In the end, we must all be accountable for our actions. My son will face the music in time, should his actions stray. We are not Saviour. We are "wife". He is your other half, so pour love into him if you see he is empty. It may be the very thing that could change his world.

Love,
Mom
{PS: It's okay. You can call me that.}

Linking up to:
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Dear David...{Here We Are: Letter 9}

 >>>>Photography Credit: J&S Photography <<<<

Dear David...

Well, here we are.
You are 15 months and started walking everywhere. Remote controls and Jackie's crate are some of your favorite things at the moment.You took your first real steps at 11 months but had no interest in continuing until now. Daddy got a {well-deserved} raise at his job and Mommy's business is taking off. The summer is coming to an end and it has been eventful and amazing. These are just little things I want to remember about this moment...the biggest thing is how much we have grown as a family.

I have to admit, it is easy to forget how truly blessed we are {I am.} We had our first real family photo shoot this past Saturday and looking at the photos made my heart swell. There is nothing more beautiful than having a family. To laugh with, play with, grow with...we are not perfect but we can uplift and encourage one another.

Here's the reality: there may come a time as you grow older, you may start to resent us. You might even feel hatred towards Daddy and Mommy. Emotions, adolescence, friends, independence will take over your life and your priorities might slip. I know, I've been there.

When you feel you are alone, I want you to look at these photos. You can be 15 or 50...it doesn't matter. I want you to see our faces; the true love that Daddy & Mommy have/feel for our boy. You are our world and though there may be moments it doesn't seem that way, just know that whatever you do, our hearts will not sway away from loving you. You will make mistakes but we won't love you any less. You will fall, but we will be there to help you up. You will cry, scream, yell, have a broken heart...and we will promise to always be available. Open. Listen. Ready to hold you and pick you back up.

Remember that, David. We are a family and God honors that. Even before His glorious church, family was/is priority. Daddy & Mommy have spent many nights talking to Grandma & Grandpa; crying, learning, growing. They were/are always there for us, ministering to our hearts and minds. And Daddy & Mommy will be there for you too. Always.

So as the years past and you start to feel different, please remember that our love will never differ. Your actions do not dictate the level of love we have for you. You can never out grow our love. Here we are...and here we will stay.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Good vs Evil: Letter 8}

I've started a series of letters to my baby boy, that (hopefully) one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

Dear David...

So mommy has been thinking a lot lately. Surprise surprise.

I've been thinking about how to teach you about God and His ways. Then I thought about how scary this world is and how modern day Christians have ruined Jesus' good name. I'm not saying every Christian, son...just those who are not discerning.

You see, we as believers have a lot of knowledge about God and we feel differently than non-believers. The Bible says that the real battle of good and evil is not in our human hands, in our flesh, but it takes place on a spiritual level (Ephesians 6:12) But there are too many of us arguing, fighting, yelling, shouting our beliefs in the face of people who oppose God and His church. This is just not how we should act, my boy.

Let me clarify: you must be bold and stand firm in what you believe. You have nothing to fear (1 Timothy 1:7) and all power lies in Christ Jesus our Lord. The problem lies when we waste our time and our breath with those whose heart are hardened and not ready to receive. His Word stands on it's own; we do not add to it's strength by trying to use our own.

Society has turned good into evil and evil into good. What once was wrong is now being accepted and what once was right is now being condemned. Though on the surface it seems that people are the cause of these issues, the battle is spiritual. There are dark forces at work against good. This is not a new concept, son. It all started in the garden (Genesis 3).

But how do we, as Christians, deal with this change?
How do we act when approached with criticism and condemnation?

I want you to know, David, that you do not owe anyone anything except for our God, the Lord Jesus Christ. You do not have to entertain these spirits by engaging in debates or arguments. You can respond with love and careful words. Pray for them. Remember that they are a product of their circumstance just as much as you (and I) are. Approach them with a compassionate heart, not closed fists.

God doesn't change. Not even for us Christians, regardless what some believe. His ways stand and His words are eternal. He set the standard and truth, and it doesn't matter what happens, He is still in control. Don't lose your patience with a world who has lost God. He is here, waiting for us all to turn to Him. Remind yourself that the more you scream, shout, fight with your entire being cannot change an evil heart.

But a soft word, a calm approach, a peaceful conversation can make more of an impact (Proverbs 15:1).

For the record, mommy doesn't argue with folks who are not ready to hear the truth. I have saved my strength to minister to the broken, those who are hurting and are in search for a holy hospital. Those who understand that something is not right but they don't know what to do or where to turn. Yet they are seeking and hoping and praying for clarity and charity. We cannot approach everyone in this world as evil doers, ready with our swords to slay them. No, son. There are some who need open hands and a warm embrace. For an eager ear to listen and for a clean heart to love them.

Be that, David. Don't mimic the loud trumpets of the church who sound off just to be heard and to be right. Be like Christ; humble and wise, knowing when to speak and when to just listen (John 6:35). Because, honestly, between the accusations and the evil darts, people just want to be loved. Be love, my son. Above all else, be love.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{The Sky Is NOT The Limit: Letter 7}

I've started a series of letters to my baby boy, that (hopefully) one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

Dear David...

There is a saying that many people use to try and encourage someone. Though I am sure the intentions are good, mommy has a different perspective.

It says: "The sky is the limit."

No. Sorry, son, it is NOT the limit. You see, when people say this, they don't really know what they are saying. It sounds good but the saying itself is very limited thinking. How can we tell people that the sky is as far as they can go? What about the stars? The universe?

As your mother and as an adult example I want to say:
"Why limit yourself to the sky when you can be among the stars and the heavens!"

Don't limit yourself by playing it safe. Reach higher, go farther, shine brighter!!
God made you in a special way. If you choose to follow His will and allow Him to guide you, there is no limit because through God, opportunities are limitless.

The sky is NOT the limit...it is only the beginning.
Don't settle for the limits other people may put on you. God is more powerful than that. You can do the incredible and the impossible because with God, ALL is possible! Nothing is too much, too hard, too great, too far for Him and we are well able to reach the stars and explore His glorious universe through His power and greatness.

Son, you are my shining star. In my darkest nights, your face is the light that shows me there is hope. Go be that and more to someone else. When you grow older, I don't ever want that light to dull or for your shine to be buffed away. My mommy bear instincts are already taking over as I write this because people will try. They will try to tell you that you can't go higher than the sky. They will whisper in your sweet ears that there is a line into greatness that you cannot cross. They will shout that you are not good enough, smart enough, handsome enough...

...and they are wrong. All wrong. Take those emotions inside, the yucky feeling they dumped on you and building yourself the tallest most beautiful latter! Past the sky, past the first star, past the first planet...and keep going and going and going...until God tells you "You are right where I want you."

Baby, don't settle for the sky when God created so, so much more...

Love,
Mom

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Dear David...{Boys Have Hearts Too: Letter 6}

Dear David...

Wow, my boy, time is sure flying by. The last time I wrote a letter to you was back in August. Now you are just about one month away from being a year old. What?! Man you make my life complete.

I am going to try and not take so long in between letters next time because there is SO much momma wants you to know. A lot of pressing issues are on my heart and I want to connect with yours. That's right, David. Boys have hearts too. No matter what any macho-man-wannabe, thick headed muscle man tells you...listen to me. Guys are just as sensitive compared to those yucky girls.

Believe it. I'm sharing with you a secret that mankind has been sweeping under the rug since the first caveman wrestled a T-Rex to save his darling. He probably acted all tough up front, but on the inside he was screaming like a little girl getting hit in the head during a came of PE dodge ball. You see, son, it is inside of a man to want to protect. You were made with that instinct to provide security. As you grow older, you will understand this more.

Part of having that instinct to protect is a responsibility that can leave a heavy weight on some men's shoulders. And some of them like to act as if they are okay when really they are scared inside. Frightened. Shaken by the amount of stuff on their big tough guy plates. but society has taught them to be quiet and put on a brave face. Crying is for girls and as a guy, you shouldn't even have tear ducts!

I'm telling you right now that crying is for all humans. Not only that, it's okay to be sensitive to other people's needs. Daddy may not tell you this, but he is very sensitive. If you don't believe me, ask him about the video of Dalmatian puppies eating peanut butter for the first time. This doesn't make him "less of a man", son. He has plenty of samurai swords hidden around the house just in case he needs to protect us with his killer skills.
We are all sensitive and that's how it's meant to be. It means that God has made you in His image, which He surely did! Isn't God's heart sensitive? Doesn't He care about other people, and not only that, doesn't He express His feelings?

I'm not trying to turn you into a whiny, mushy advice columnist. But if that's who you turn out to be, that's who you will be. All I'm saying is this...boys have hearts too and for a purpose. Use your sensitive heart to turn to God, to mirror His ways and to accomplish the calling He has given you. Use your heart to help the least of these and to build up your family. Being a sensitive boy doesn't make you any less "macho." It actually makes you more of a man for not hiding what is naturally within you.

Love Always,
Mom

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Dear David...{Commanded to Love: Letter 5}

I've started a series of letters to my little baby boy, that hopefully one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

DEAR DAVID...

This is letter will hopefully be one that you will keep around for a long time, read it over and over and then share it with your future children. I am burdened and sad. Why? Well, for one thing, this world is getting scarier and scarier, especially for young children born in a church atmosphere because honestly, this world is not liking us church folk very much.

You see, some people are not very discerning with what they say or do. Even if they are sincere in their heart and mean well, they fail to ask God for guidance, which is a HUGE no-no and that leads them to say/do things that do not glorify God the right way and it ends up hurting more than ministering. I'm not talking about people who don't know God yet...I'm talking about church people, son.

When you grown up, you will see lots of things that will be disturbing to your little heart, both inside and outside of the church. I want you to remember one thing: people will always be people, and they do not define who God is. God defines Himself in Jesus, who came to save His people and give them life...what people say/do can't change God because God cannot change!

"For I am the LORD, I change not" Malachi 3:6

Lay your expectations on Him, David! Don't look to people for fulfillment because you will be really disappointed, son. We are not meant to fill voids...if that was so, Calvary would not have happened! Instead, look to Jesus as an example of what to say/do. It's not bad to have earthy, godly people as role models but we should never put them above God...our most important role model ever!!

Be kind to people. Listen intently. Speak softly. Know that you are royalty because the King of kings has called you to be and poise yourself with dignity, honesty, and charity. People will be people but we must still forgive and we must respond correctly, the way Jesus wants us to.

Even in our home, mommy and daddy may not always be on the ball because we are human and do fail. Just know that the way you respond is what God is watching for. We each have to give an account to the Lord for the things we say/do...let the Lord be the judge, David boy, and you just do what He commanded...to love.

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." John 15:12

Love Always,

Mom

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Dear David...{Your Birth Story: Letter 4}

I've started a series of letters to my little baby boy, that hopefully one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

DEAR DAVID...

I've been thinking lately how I needed to document the day you were born to share with you someday. You see, there were lots of things going on that day that really threw your 'rents for a loop. Mommy thought you were coming around Wednesday because she felt lots of aches and pains BUT you had other ideas! Instead, you arrived into this world on April 27th 2012 @ 8:43pm...that was Friday night, by the way :)

Daddy and I talked a lot about how we wanted things to go in the delivery room. One thing I loved was Daddy played some nice, soothing water/nature music while we waited. It was like I was in a spa! (one that plugged you into monitors and had you wear a backless robe.) Once mommy had some medicine to help with the pain, she felt like she was in Heaven.

  

Unfortunately, the medicine made the contractions slow down, which meant that we may have to wait even longer! Oh no! They decided to break my water, thinking that would help things a bit and gave me a different medicine. For some reason, your little heart rate started dropping and the doctors kinda got scared...and of course, so did Daddy & Mommy...

Nana, Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Sarah, Uncle Steve, Cousin Brooky & Levi were in the waiting room, wanting to know what was the next step. We all knew that we needed to pray for you and Mommy. The doctor wanted to do a C-section but that was not what Daddy & Mommy wanted! You were so close, the nurse said! Surgery would be sad to do...

Pastor showed up and laid his hand on Mommy's head. Grandpa came in and prayed with Daddy, as he held my hand. Everyone else in the waiting room stood and held hands in prayer. We came together, in Jesus' Name! We knew that He was watching and that He could take care of everything! Guess what? Yup, He did just that! Right after our prayers went up, the nurses changed shifts and we were blessed with a new nurse.

She was amazing! Daddy and Mommy call her our angel! She talked to the doctor and came into the room, preparing your little warm bed for when I delivered you. She got all the equipment ready, and flashed us a big comforting smile :)
She did so much work to make sure that you were delivered the natural way, and not by surgery.
God is so good, David! Remember my other letter about how prayer works? This is another example!

45 minutes after the nurse told me to push, you blessed us with your beautiful presence, which of course made Daddy & Mommy SO happy that we cried with joy...

You were born 6lbs 4oz and 19.75in! Everyone could not wait to hold you and give you kisses. You had lots of people with lots of love in their hearts for you, my David boy. Praise the Lord! You truly were a miracle!

 
Love Always,

Mom

Dear David... {From Mom AND Friend: Letter 3}

I've started a series of letters to my little baby boy, that hopefully one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

DEAR DAVID...

Recently the topic has comes up a few times about parents, especially moms, claiming they are not suppose to be friends with their children, only the parent. Now you are only a few months old now so you haven't had much drama in your life for me to sift through...however, David, this is mommys opinion...

I remember being a self-conscious, emotional teenager who needed a friend...and not just a friend to have fun with, but most importantly, to listen and give advice. I've been told that famous phrase "I'm not your friend, I'm your parent" and quite frankly, it hurt my heart. You see, son, when you are in need of ears to hear your situation or even to vent frustrations about life, you will go everywhere to find that someone who will stop what they are doing and pay attention. I want that person to be me!

So here's are my thoughts. Yes, I am your mother first BUT your friend second!! I do not have to eliminate that position just because I'm your authority and disciplinarian...I want you to feel comfortable to talk to me about anything, without the fear of me being "all business." I feel being your friend IS part of being a mother! I don't get it when someone claims they will never be their child's friend...to mommy, this is a sad statement and they are missing out on getting to know the child as a person, not just their son or daughter.

I want to know you as a human being, an individual, not just a title of son. You have your own heart and if that breaks, who will you run to? At first, I pray it's Jesus, for He heals the brokenhearted...but second, I pray it's either me or daddy (not so secretly, me first...) Most kids will run to their friends first because most of the time, the parents have never established a friendship with them. What kind of advice/counseling can  another teenager give? Most are dealing with their own problems! And though it's great to relate with someone of the same age, it is even better to go to a seasoned parent, who has been through the fire and has come out victorious. Does this make sense?

So, David boy, I want to say that you can come and talk to me anytime. Without fear of judgment or typical adult criticism. I may not be perfect and neither my advice, however I am your mother, and it's part of my job to know where you are at, mentally, emotionally and spiritually...and if you are off base, it's my job to listen to your words and your heart, to guide you towards the right choices/decisions and most of all, to be a Christ-like example of what a friend should be.

Love Always,

Mom

Dear David... {Letter #1 Girl Advice}

I've decided I love blogging about my life and what great things God is doing. One HUGE blessing is this little jumping bean inside my tummy :) His name is David and I can't wait to meet him! 5 weeks left, ah! So I want to start a series of letters to my little baby boy, that hopefully one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

DEAR DAVID...

You don't know this yet but you will be what this world calls a stud. How do I know this? Well, just look at your parents! Actually, the idea of girls swooning after my baby boy is making mommy a little nervous. You see, whether you want to admit it or not, mommy is a girl. I know I'll be known for wiping your bottom and runny nose but I know firsthand how girls can be when it comes to boys. Believe me, we can be crazy & nuts!

So I'm going to list some things you should always be careful of when it comes to the ladies. Remember, mommy loves you and wants to protect you. I don't want you to grow up in a bubble but I want my boy to be smart and aware...okay? Okay.

1.) Watch your words

David, girls will hang on every word a guy says if they like them. Please, for the love of Moses, be careful what you say to a girl especially if you know she likes you. Don't make her feel like you like her back if you don't BUT don't be mean either. Be the nice little boy Jesus called you to be; a sweet gentleman with sweet words.

2.) Respect her even if she doesn't respect herself

Many girls don't understand good or bad. That doesn't mean you can go ahead and abandon what we've taught you about respecting girls. They are princesses of the King and need to be treated like royalty. Speak kindly even if she speaks foul. Respect her entire palace: mind, thoughts, decisions, heart and body...not just what SHE will allow...respect all of it! Sometimes girls act on emotions and will think they have to say or do certain things to get a guy's attention. Always remember this: one day, she will be someone's wife...so treat her like she's already taken.

3.) Play nice

Boys can play rough with one another, I know that. You will witness daddy and uncle Nikko probably wrestling in the living room or being really competitive during a session of Wii boxing. When you play with girls, you can't play with them like that. Sure playing games are fun, I'm not being negative, son. Just remember that your tolerance of this sort of thing is wayyyy different than a girls. It's not that we are weak and helpless...you know your mommy is definitely not! It goes back to the respect thing; she's still a lady and you cannot hit her even if she is beating you like crazy in Mario Cart.

Here are some quick things to keep in mind also:

- Use your manners, even if she belches like a 200 lb man

- Only call her names that are classy & flattering, not vulgar & disrespectful

- See her as your fellow sister in Christ not just a pretty face

- When she cries, don't laugh. Ask her what is wrong and listen.

- A kiss is one of the most important things to a girl's heart; save it for the right one!

- Dating is like an interviewing process for marriage; be selective

- If she's angry, that means her feelings are hurt. Make things right.

- No spitting, biting, hitting, throwing, shouting, slapping, kicking etc. or you will have to answer to daddy!

I can probably go all day and list things for you. Hopefully, I can be the type of mother that you admire and look up to as an example of what a godly woman should be. I want you to come to me with any questions you have about girls because, after all, I still am one :)

Love Always,

Mom