Monday, August 19, 2013

Dear David...{Things I'll Tell Your Future Wife: Letter 10}

Photo Credit / j&s Photography

Dear David...

Just typing out the title of this post made mommy's heart and tummy hurt. You are barely 16 months old and I don't want to think about you getting married {if you do}. Right now, I love how you only have eyes for Daddy and I, running around the living room content with a remote control and a Popsicle. However, my mind was completely blank with zero ideas for this week's letter. Until the Lord illuminated a personal situation, thus inspiring me to write this post. So even though in the future I'll be speaking one-on-one to your wife-to-be, right now I'd like you to know what I will say. This way, you will know where my heart is coming from.

There are plenty I could say to your future wife. I don't want to talk with a lot of words with empty impact. Simple statements can make more of a difference than a long lecture. So, that being said, I'll tell your future wife...

Edify, Uplift, Bless.

Nagging never works. You may want to nag my son because he didn't complete a chore in a certain time frame or you don't feel like he is listening to you. Please, don't. Not because I'm protective {which I am} but because it does no good. Nagging tears down and doesn't build up. Look at the positive. If he completed a task, who cares if he did it because you asked him or that it was finished five minutes before you came home from Ladies Conference! Be grateful. Tell him he did a great job. Thank him. Make him feel good. Bless him with words of edification that will uplift his self-worth. It will only move him to want to bless you back. This will stop a lot of "power struggle" fighting and improve your communication

Always Be Faithful.

My son may not always do the right thing. I will do my best to raise him as a fine gentleman, strong in the Lord and filled with integrity. But he is his own person and will make his own decisions. Let him. You can still state how you feel but sometimes letting him make mistakes {even if it affects the entire family unit} can be for the best. It is scary. It is hard. But no matter what, you be faithful to the Lord and what He says. My son may decide to do something against God. It is very difficult for us to stop people when they do that. But we can pray for them. We can still go to church, read the Bible, and listen to the preaching. Be faithful to God, to your marriage, to your commitment. Try not to let my son's wavering rock your walk. Keep going. Because even though you may think he is far gone, he is still your husband and watching every step you make. Make those steps faithful.

Don't Hoard Love.

There will be times you may feel unloved, ignored or taken advantage of. Know this: it may not be intentional. We females are emotional beings and this can cause feelings that are only one sided. If my son says or does something that offends you, go to him with your concern. Don't hold in anger and hoard love. It is a natural instinct to protect ourselves from harm. You must remember that you've done or said things that probably offended him too. If you did, ask for forgiveness. Regardless if he forgives or not, love anyway. Love because God is love and He did not hold anything back from us. It didn't matter how He was treated, He still loved and continues to love. Hoarding love causes sickness and poisons a heart. Hoarding love burns bridges and suffocates growth. Let it go. In the end, we must all be accountable for our actions. My son will face the music in time, should his actions stray. We are not Saviour. We are "wife". He is your other half, so pour love into him if you see he is empty. It may be the very thing that could change his world.

{PS: It's okay. You can call me that.}

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  1. So, so very sweet, Jacy. I hope I remember to tell my son's future wife these exact same things. I think I need to go put this advice into practice stat! Nagging is definitely a quirk of mine that I need to lay to rest.

    1. I completely understand Jelli. God has worked that out of me but it is easy to divert back. So thankful we can go to Him more than once! :)


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