Dear David...{Boundaries: Letter 18}

Dear David...

You are one very active two year old. As I write this, right now, you are jumping on "daddy's bed" (your nickname for our bed) and catapulting into the pillows. I've been feeling so overprotective lately the more you explore. And I really don't mean it in a negative way. So I felt like I needed to write this so hopefully...maybe...one day...you will understand my desire for you to understand boundaries.

When we cross the road, I explain how we must keep our feet behind the lines. But your innocent curiosity, though super cute, is also super scary for mommy and daddy. Without thinking, you dart across without realizing the danger. Boundaries don't always keep you from good things. That was a lie I bought into growing up. I was rebellious because I thought no one wanted me to have fun. It wasn't until I got older that I saw what was truly on the other side of the line...and that those who tried to implement boundaries were trying to actually protect me.

Bro. John preached on a Wednesday night a few years ago and I want to share with you what he said because it touched my heart. He spoke about the need for boundaries as Christians. The Shepherd sets up a fence to protect us but our gaze is often so focused on what's beyond the fence, that's our only desire. We crave to be on the other side because it looks better. Our eyes are not in tune with the Shepherd's because if they were, we would notice the wolf waiting for curious sheep to leave His side.

So while it may seem like the fence is holding you back, it's actually saving your life. Sounds a bit extreme and I don't want to make you scared. It's good to take chances and try new things. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm saying is the adults in your life see things you do not. So when you are growing and learning, trust the boundaries we set even if they are annoying or don't make sense.

Just like our God has boundaries for us, we also must live within safe fences. This mindset is not popular in today's world. No one has boundaries anymore. But I'm here to tell you that just because your friend's parents have a different set of rules...you are not their child. You are ours. You are God's. We have a standard and a purpose. And we will do our best to teach you what it means so you don't just obey out of habit or ritual.

When you have a relationship with the Shepherd, the words of the wolf don't matter to the sheep. Because they are too close to the Shepherd and only obey His voice. The enticing spirit of the wolf does not effect those who are not hovering by the fence edge. But those who wander away from the Shepherd's side are less likely to hear His voice and fall into the trap of the enemy.

Just remember that boundaries is another way to express love. Just like marriage, boundaries must be set in order for that marriage to work and be the best it can be. Without boundaries, tragedy lies. So please know that our hearts are on your side, not against you. As you grow, keep your gaze on the Shepherd and ears on His voice. And you will find everything you need by His side.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{She Won't Be Perfect: Letter 15}

Dear David...

On and off I've been thinking about how much I need to start praying for your future. Not only what job you'll have and who you'll become as a man...but who you will marry, if you do marry at all. It is my duty as a God-fearing mother to intercede spiritually for you both, now and then. It sounds so crazy saying this. You are going to be two years old this Sunday and we are going through the potty training adventures at this moment. Your only concern today was eating another bite of brownie and rolling toy cars down the hallway without wetting your pants.

Prayer is powerful. I've told you that before in this letter. I will do all that I can to encourage you to pray for your future spouse and when you are married, continue to pray for her and with her. Why? Well, she won't be perfect. She will have experiences that will shape her thoughts and dreams. They may not go along with your beliefs. She will have made mistakes. She will be over-emotional and over-critical at times. She might become needy and lonely. She won't always say the right things and will some times argue points that are untrue. She will be fully human; full of potential on a path that hopefully is guided by her Maker.

She won't be perfect, David. And neither will you. It is easy to envision the one we truly love as a perfect vessel, in the beginning. We almost idolize and worship one another. However, the only perfect One is the Lord Jesus Christ and as you both seek Him first, you both will be perfected.

So even when you see a glimmer of the imperfect nature inside of her, remember your vows. Even when you don't understand why she is upset or crying, hold her. Even when you feel your world is being shattered, don't forget who is part of it. She won't be perfect but you are still called to love her with all you have. And love is an action word. Look to Jesus for that demonstration of what perfect love is so when she disappoints you (because we do that as humans) you can see past her imperfections and will encourage the potential she has inside.

Above all else, remember that we all are clay in the hands of the Potter. It pains me to think that I'm probably making a mistake raising you right now. I'm constantly praying that as a parent I'm doing the right thing and as a Christian woman I'm producing the right example for you. But one thing I do know is no matter how long of a list you have of what you seek in a woman of God, she won't be perfect. But love her anyway.

Love, Mom

Be His Constant.

Coming in from the cool night, she paused. Her ears were listening for the sound she desperately loved to hear. As she made her way to the stairs, it dawned on her. He was sleeping. Pounding the steps, she rushed to the door and as I let our precious puppy in, immediately she hopped on the bed. Curling herself in a tight ball behind his legs, as she always did at night, a phrase flooded my mind: she was his constant. 

Marriage can sometimes be a rocky road. Too often we find ourselves bickering and nagging over the slightest things. Many years from now when the dust has long been settled, we hopefully will realize how unimportant it was to be right. Last night I painted our living room by myself. Not because I wanted bragging rights (did I mention it was 300 square feet? just saying). I did it because I wanted to surprise my husband when he came home from work. Little did I realize the magnitude of the job, thus, I worked until the wee hours of the night finishing it up.Wasn't much of a surprise, at least, not what I had envisioned. However he was beyond grateful and I could tell he truly was touched.

We are in the process of sprucing up our condo to sell. Our goal and dream is to own a house for our family, so I've been putting many hours into our place to prepare for our blessing. This year marks 5 years since we said our vows and since then have been through a lot together. Did you catch that? Together? There have been very trying times when our heads could barely withstand the beating waves of the current storm.

We each made selfish mistakes. Though it may be hard to forgive ourselves, it's so important to let our spouses know we've forgiven them. That we will stand by them even through the murky waters. That we are more than best friends but are soldiers in love, fighting a tough yet beautiful battle, side by side. That they can trust us. Depend on us. That they know we can be their constant.

One definition of constant is this:
a situation or state of affairs that does not change.

This is where many marriages fail. We fail one another because we change our love based on circumstances and trials. We fail to be consistent in our vows. We lack accountability for our words and actions. The same way that God's love for us is constant and unchanging, our love for our husbands need to be this as well. 

We live in a world today that embraces change like a new outfit. While change is good, when it comes to true love in marriage, it's important to honor it the way God intended it. Constant. 

Constant in forgiveness.
Constant in open embrace.
Constant communication.
Constant understanding.
Constant commitment.
Constant loyalty.
Constant honesty.
Are you getting this?

These things should never change. If they do, they should be getting better and stronger! I want my husband to feel secure in our marriage. I want him to know that no matter what choices he makes, I'm not going anywhere unless God tells me to. He can rely on me to be next to him even when he falls. I want him to know that we are a team.

He can trust me with his heart, that I won't manipulate it to get what I want.
He can be honest and open because I'm honest and open.
He can share with me his inner fears because I too am flawed and scared.
He can know that when he comes home at night, I'll be eagerly waiting with a tight hug, as if to say "It's okay. The troubles of the day are gone. You are home."

I use the illustration in the beginning because that is exactly what happened last night when this thought occurred to me. Our Siberian husky Jackie is truly in love with him. Even when he gets firm with her or disciplines her, it never fails: she hops up on the bed and finds that spot where she can curl up next to his legs. It doesn't matter what he does or says. She has made up her mind that he is her love and nothing will stop her from being with him.

How much more loyal should a wife be? Don't misunderstand what I'm saying. We are not dogs and shouldn't be in the eyes of our men. Nor are we slaves jumping at every command or call. The bottom line I'm trying to make is, my husband has no doubts about Jackie's love because it's constant. Never changing. Never wavering. It is settled and genuine. Our love must be that and more!

Dear David...{20 Things I Don't Want To Forget: Letter 14}

Dear David...

These moments that I have with you have been the best times of my life. In the beginning, I thought being a mother was more about what I'd be teaching you...but here I am realizing I'm nothing but a student in the hands of the Lord, as He uses you to show me precious things. And though I know teaching and training you to be a man of God is one of the biggest callings a woman can have, it keeps me humble when I realize we both are learning new things together.

This world will make you feel busy. This world will have you filling up daily planners, scheduling events and looking forward to the months ahead. Sometimes it's hard to focus on now. These moments. This list is to remind myself of the things I never want to forget as your mother, within these sacred minutes. You'll be potty training soon, moving to a bed and growing up before our eyes. I want to stop being busy and start remembering...

I don't want to forget:

1. How you look at me like I'm a hero. 
2. The laugh you have that lights up a room
3. Your innocent curiousity
4. The silly jokes we share and how you love that I "get" you
5. How much my heart aches when I think of this world & the pain it might cause you
6. The way you wiggle your piggies
7. The way you pause whatever you are doing to listen to an airplane
8. How excited you get when daddy arrives home
9. The look of delight when you have a balloon
10. Your sleepy eyes peering over the crib
11. The way you rub your ear when you're tired
12. How much you love to dance
13. The way you spin so silly
14. Your soft beautiful curly hair
15. How you hold me when you think I'm leaving...
16. The way your head fits perfectly on my shoulder
17. Your squeals during bath time (one of your favorite things to do!)
18. The need you have to explore and be independent
19. How afraid I feel because you deserve the best...and more...
20. The bond we share as a family

It's these special nuggets that mean more than any dollar amount, any job, any house, any materialistic object.  I want to take time every day to soak in our relationship because some day it will change. Maybe I'll make a joke and you might not laugh anymore. Our silly jigs will be babyish. You might spike those lovely curls with hair gel. The sweet Bible songs might turn into rock songs. There will come a time that you will make your own choices...and reap that choice, whether good or bad.

It's easy to live in a dream world, staying busy and thinking this is how life will be forever. Though I wish I could pause this time right now and bottle it up so you never have to experience hardships or trials, I must believe that my God is your God and what He has done can happen again...but for you.

Tears are flowing right now because I feel powerless. Mama will not always be there to protect or guide you but we serve an omnipresent, omnipotent Lord and Saviour who is always with you! Thank you for teaching me to live for now. I don't want to be a distracted mom, with my eyes more on my phone and Facebook than your precious face! So I will continue this list in my journal and documenting facial expressions, likes, dislikes, emotions, events, quirks...

One thing I don't ever want you to forget, David, is how much I really love you. Even if you grow up and think I don't...what I have written, I have written. I would move mountains just so the sun was out of your eyes. I would build a bridge to a rainbow if you wanted to touch it. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my son. Remember that.

Love,
Mom

Gooey-Love Brownie Pie {Recipe}

I love how the majority of my recipe posts start with me explaining how what I made was an accident. Isn't that what cooking/baking is? Just a bunch of happy little accidents in the kitchen and then someone's like "Hey, that actually taste good!" So they stick a fancy name on it, write down what they did and boom. History was made.

The thing about this brownie pie is there is nothing accidental about the love between chocolate and peanut butter. That was a match made in Heaven by the hand of God Himself. With so many desserts out there marrying these two crazy delicious kids, I had to do something to change things up.

The base is a yummy fluffy homemade brownie. That's right, no box mix here! Making your own brownie mix isn't that difficult and it tastes better than any store brand. I'm so glad I came across Sheryl's recipe on her blog, Lady Behind the Curtain. As always, I changed up the recipe a bit to make it my own but used hers as the perfect starting point. Then layered on top is a gooey-creamy peanut butter mixture with a secret ingredient. But it won't be a secret any longer. Just keep reading.

What you'll need:

• 1/2 cup of butter
• 2 ounces baking cocoa
• 1 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 eggs, slightly beaten 
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1 can/14 ounces sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup milk or semi-sweet chocolate chips
• Fruit, sprinkles, candy, any topping you'd like!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and spray a round 9x1.4 inch pan. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter, cocoa and sugar on low for about 2-3 minutes or until the sugar has completely dissolved. Remove from heat and stir in the flour until smooth. Add eggs and beat until smooth. Spread evenly in pan and bake for about 15 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Let sit for 1 minute in pan then move to a baking rack to cool completely.

For the topping, melt the peanut butter in a microwave-safe bowl for 30 seconds. Combine with condensed milk and stir. Spread graciously on top of the brownie pie and garnish with your favorite toppings. This peanut butter mixture makes a lot, I used about half for the brownie pie but the rest can be used on ice cream, cookies or cake.

What a perfect after dinner treat! My husband's sweet tooth was acting up and he requested something with peanut butter and chocolate. Usually we make Puppy Chow but I wanted to do something different yet still quick and tasty. I was actually surprised how fast I made this and how good it was! Whenever I try a new recipe, it usually takes a while of me sorting everything out and wrapping my brain around what to do. This Gooey-Love Brownie Pie will definitely be on the list of my go-to easy desserts.

Are you planning on making anything yummy for your honey for Valentine's Day?

A 16-year-old Heart {Devotion}

I've realized something.

This year will mark 30 years that this heart of mine has been beating. It is hard to comprehend, really. I look at who I am and I know I should be way more mature. If you think I'm kidding, just ask around! On the other hand, I am way beyond where I thought I would ever be. And that's a good thing.

At church this past Sunday, a teenage friend of mine was crying. She was hurt, wounded...scared. I could tell beyond her beautiful tear-soaked face that there was a heart full of questions and a mind that yearned for the answers. I truly wish I had them for her.

But as I held her, through the sobs and the embrace, God reminded me just how fragile an adolescent heart is. And how my heart is still very much like a 16-year old girl. I don't think I could ever forget how it feels to be rejected or made fun of. How it feels to have a waterfall of emotion flooding into your system and no way of turning it off except to sit in your room and cry. Or write pages of journal entries. Or even paint away the pain. That was one of the reasons I started creating artwork. It was therapy. Who knows where I would be if I didn't have art to pour into at such a sensitive age.

My heart will never forget the first relationships it clung to. Or the people who accepted every weird part of me. And the ones who did not. Deep inside every adult, there is a teenager somewhere. A little bit of that life still exists. I can see it even in the most mature human beings.

Many of us still yearn to belong. To mean something to someone. To be loved. And in our hearts, we seek to be relevant in a world that is constantly changing what is cool and what isn't.

I prayed with her that morning. Not because I wanted to be seen but I wanted her to know that God sees her and knows what she needs. He sees every insecurity and every drop of water from our eyes. And He is here with open arms, saying:

"You may not understand but I do. Give me your fragile heart and I will heal it. Give me your battered heart and I will protect it. No matter what this world says, you are loved because I said so...and proved it."

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."

Psalm 62:5-8

Mini Hearts & Arrows Pancakes

It's the month where we celebrate love and showering the people we care about with candy hearts, sappy cards and breakfast in bed. I thought of this cute idea for moms with little ones who might want to make that Valentine's Day morning something special and sweet.

So I give you mini Hearts & Arrows Pancakes! How adorable, right? These little darlings will put a smile on any child's face. Plus, they are small enough to hold one in each hand, which David loves to do!

Here's what you'll need:

•  Pancake mix
•  Strawberries, chopped, fresh or frozen (thawed)
•  Sprinkles
•  Heart-shaped cookie cutter
•  Toothpicks
•  Cardstock (any color you'd like)
•  Sharpie
•  Scissors

Mix the pancake batter the way you normally do. In a small bowl, warm up the chopped strawberries in the microwave for about 30 seconds and then blend them in a blender. Add the strawberry mix to the pancake batter and stir. Pour the batter in a large heated and greased pan, adding a handful of sprinkles on top of the batter. Cook/flip the pancakes until done. Set aside on a plate to cool.

As the pancake is cooling, take the sharpie and draw a feather template for the arrow. It's okay if it's not perfect, any imperfections will just add to the whimsical factor of this project. Cut out the feather template and use it as a stencil to create more (if you wish.) I made just two; one in a metallic magenta and the other in a lovely vintage light-blue. Using the scissors, cut two small holes in the center. (See the photo above for placement suggestion.)

Then slip in your toothpick and you've got some cute mini arrows! Now that the pancake is cool, use the heart-shaped cookie cutter. My pancake was kind of spongy so I really had to press down with the cutter and peel away the outside pancake. Pierce the hearts with the arrows and arrange them however you feel your little ones would love!

This adorable illustrated vintage jug is available in the shop right here!

This would be a great activity for toddlers or older children. If you have a tot, you could have them help with mixing the batter like David helped me. Just be prepared to lose a few strawberries to hungry hands :) They also could help cut out the heart shapes. Older kiddos would probably love mixing too, adding the sprinkles, cutting out the hearts and assembling the arrows (just watch out for the pointy toothpicks.) Make it fun and interactive! The memories will be sure to last longer than this yummy treat. Sharing here:

Cupid's Cinnamon & Sea Salt Fudge Dip

You know how mistakes can usually make us feel like a total failure?

I just made the most delicious mistake ever! Would you like to know how? Well, I was folding laundry the other day while watching the cooking channel (as usual) when the gorgeous Giada came on. She started talking about all this yummy food for football season and then mentioned something else, blah blah blah then fudge...whoooaaahhh hold up! Did she just say fudge?!

I've never made fudge before but it is one of my man's favorite treats, so my ears perked up. Quickly jotting down the ingredients and instructions on my tablet, my brain started erupting with fireworks. Uh I have almost everything on this list!! Sorry, laundry. There is fudge to be had. Or so I thought...

Now this link will take you to the recipe if you want real fudge and not a dip. It's from Giada's page on Food Network. I had gathered all of the ingredients together and realized I didn't have condensed milk. Ah! Oh wait, I have evaporated milk and can just melt sugar into it. Problem solved. (Maybe?) I was so determined to make fudge that when I heard my son wake up from naptime, I just tossed everything into a pan and mixed it together. Wrong! I was so wrong. (Or was I?)

Obviously my mistake ruined the consistency for fudge. I found that out after four hours in the refrigerator and the chocolate was still a liquid. Liquid? Fudge dip! And the rest was history. I immediately thought how perfect this delicious blend of cinnamon and sea salt would be as a Valentine's Day treat with your loved one, enjoyed with some fresh strawberries. The milk chocolate is so creamy and the mix of salty/sweet will make your taste buds fall in love with you.

Here's what you'll need:

• One can condensed milk (or evaporated milk, heated and mixed with 1 1/4 cup sugar)
• 2.5 cups Milk chocolate chips
• 3 tbsp Butter, room temperature
• 2 tsp Cinnamon (any more will over power in taste)
• 1 tsp Vanilla extract 
• 1-2 tsp sea salt, to taste

Stir ingredients in a medium saucepan. Spray an 8x8 inch baking dish then pour the fudge mixture, sprinkled salt and placed in fridge for about two hours (until chilled.) Serve with fresh strawberries (or other fruit), graham crackers, pretzels, whatever your little heart desires! You can even separate some in another dish and place in the microwave for 15 seconds to serve as a warm fudge dip or sauce over ice cream or pie.

Does your spouse have a favorite dessert? Do you usually create anything special for them on Valentine's Day?

Why I Love My Husband

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. I did not receive any compensation for this post; I just have an amazing husband who deserves to be praised. To learn more about the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour and join us, CLICK HERE! 

Let me start off by pointing out that I do not like how I look in the picture above. This was after the wedding ceremony and we were taking photos at a beautiful local park. I had not eaten for hours and was starting to get crabby and have a headache. But then there's him. And he makes this picture so worth it.

When I'm at my worst, he's still there. This photo proves it. This year we will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary and every year has come with new challenges, as well as great blessings. Here are just some of the reasons why I'm head-over-heels in love with my husband:

• He makes me laugh. Even when I don't want to and I try to push the giggles away, his efforts almost always win. And I'm glad for that. 
• He absolutely loves family. My husband would rather come home every night and spend time with his wife and son instead of hanging out with friends or gallivanting around town. As a young man the temptation could be there but he is not bothered by it in the least.
• He is a man of integrity. When he makes mistakes, he is honest about it. Even if it's not right away, he has a good conscience and a heart to please God. He also respects me enough to confess any faults and keep that line of communication open.
• He is smarter than me. I'm serious, he really is. I was terrible in school so having a husband who is actually smart and not just pretending like I do is amazing. If I have any questions about history, math or science I can count on my guy for the answers. And if he doesn't know, he legit cares about finding it out. Unlike me.
• He strives to be better. My husband is not satisfied with who he is at the moment, no matter how much I try to encourage him. He is always looking to step higher, go farther and be better. It's admirable and pushes me to be a better version of myself.
• He learns from mistakes. He is not only a man of integrity but when he falls, he knows there is a lesson to be learned and he repents. I've seen him develop into such a wholesome individual and it teaches me not to beat myself up when I make a mistake.
• He takes fatherhood seriously. Not only does he truly adore our son but he knows the value of having a father who is hands-on and involved. He is constantly making sure that he connects as a dad and loves making memories as father/son. He is burdened by men who treat children like objects or trophies and put their desires before the little ones in their lives. He makes every effort to be above that and more.
• He takes love seriously. My husband is very cautious who he opens his heart too. The fact that he has not only opened it to me but has entrusted me with the most sensitive and vulnerable parts of his being is truly a gift. His love is intentional and with purpose. I love him even more knowing that his acts of love stem more from his heart than hopeful emotion. 

I could go on forever but the fact is I love my husband because he pushes me, challenges me and sees me for who I am and who I can become. I can trust my life with him. I can trust my heart with him. I can trust our family with him. Because He trusts God with his life, heart and family.  And when there is unity among a man and His Maker, there is unity among the entire household. Love can abound and grow. We can prosper even in the valley and move mountains even in rainstorms.

My husband is ready to fight any battles that come our way and doesn't mind me as his sidekick. How can I not love a man like that?

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.

Dear David...{Love Never Fails: Letter 13}

Dear David...

Another week has gone by and you are surprising us every day. Lately, you've thrown mommy and daddy for a loop. That's right. A big ol' loop and we are spinning, confused and unsure how to handle things. You are starting the "terrible twos" and I have to admit, I thought that label was fake. Until now.

But no matter how angry, frustrated, annoyed, out-of-control you get: I love you. And for the record, no matter how angry, frustrated, annoyed, out-of-control mommy and daddy may be with one another: we love each other.

Because love is not a fuzzy feeling. It is an action. While lust will control your emotions and warm your heart, God's definition of love shows us there's more than that. When He manifested Himself as flesh to be the sacrifice for our sins, His love was showcased within that action (Ephesians 5:2/1 Timothy 3:16). Becoming a man was God's love in action. Sure, we warm His heart. Sure, we are the apple of His eye. But to God, love means doing something even if it means sacrificing life. Because through that sacrifice, through that action, love is fulfilled and therefore can never fail.

When you grow up, the definition of love is going to get twisted. The world will try to teach you that love means to "be in the moment", "go with the flow" or "it must be good if it feels good." Know this: that is lust, not love. That impulsive desire is not love. Love is not impulsive. Love is not last minute. Love is not "in the moment" but love is an action that leads to precious moments. I'm not going to act like a love expert. Not even close. But I am learning this daily and want to share with you what God is teaching me so that you may (hopefully) avert the path I went down. 

True love, the love defined by God, never fails. It is eternal. It does not puff up or act pridefully. It doesn't hinder. It doesn't withhold good things, hold grudges or spout bitter words.

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

In those moments when you feel unlovable, remember that there is a Lord and Savior who made Himself known so that you can know true love. He died for you and sent His Spirit to comfort you.

Nothing hurts mommy's heart more than thinking about how much I love you. It hurts out of pure joy...and sorrow, that perhaps one day your heart may be broken. And you may question love. But son, never forget who defined Himself as love. For the love of Jesus can withstand any trial and tribulation and nothing you go through will ever change how much He loves you. 

Love,

Mom

Where have I been...and where I am going...

 

I feel like a broken record. Here I am, once again, announcing another change. If you've been following my blog and my online adventures, your head is probably spinning and your eyes rolling. I get that. I also get that when people are trying to start a business, they have to go through lots of changes. Many times continually reinventing their brand and streamlining what they do.

I started off this month with devotionals and the plan was to keep posting one every day until October 31st. The truth is, I couldn't say anything at the time, but I was planning my mother's surprise 50th birthday party. This was also on top of weaning my son off of a pacifier. I had soon realized that life was way too short to spend it on things that your heart wasn't in. Before I knew it, three days had gone by without a single new devotion posted...

And I felt guilty. I didn't want to let you guys down and honestly I wasn't even sure if anyone was following the devotions. Life happened and of course that took precedence over blogging.

My heart is always in the Word, don't mistake what I'm saying. But posting a devotional a day made my sweet, intimate meeting with the Lord every morning seem more like a chore. And I don't like that. I don't want that. I don't want to have this blog because I feel other people want me to have it.

I honestly think that God really wants me to share the devotionals with people who seriously want to read them. More one on one. So while I still feel like the Lord wants me to continue writing 31 devotionals in 31 days, I believe He wants me to do them on my own first. Offline. Unplugged. And if anyone truly wants to do them with me, shoot me and email and I can email them straight to you!

Time is precious and I've spent close to 3 years blogging...and it has brought a lot of good and bad. I know I've tried to walk away many times and continue getting sucked back in. But right now, the season is over and moving on...

Why? Well, I'm rebranding my online shop and everything is clicking. I feel different this time around. I believe blogging was a platform for me to learn community, networking and sharing with other people. It helped me see the potential I have as a leader and business owner (while also showing me many, many weaknesses!). And I'm ready to step up to the plate.

This. This is where my heart is at the moment (online wise.) My husband and I have been praying for a house. He works so hard just so I can stay home with our son. If I'm going to do something, I want to do with to glorify God, utilize my talents and help my family financially. We are not really struggling but the load could be lighter. And I want to help make that lighter. I want to help us reach our dream.

My passion is illustration, home decor and writing. Hello Awesome will officially launch November 1st and will include all of those things! Hand-illustrated wall art, decorative porcelain (plates, mugs, vases etc), prints and so much more. Inspirational artwork and gifts, just in time for the holidays.

I can feel it in my bones. This is it. All the roads I've been on have lead to this! I can feel it. So I need all of my strength, my creativity and my focus on this shop in order for it to be the great business I know it can be.

And I'm sorry. I apologize to any sponsor or any reader who feels neglected. The truth is, I am not good at blogging and it is not so much fun anymore. Blogging has turned into a business. It's no longer the heartfelt journaling it used to be. I've started a Tumbler blog for Hello Awesome right here. We will see how it works and if I even want it. Like I said, my focus right now is on my shop. I will promote it via social media and on blogs. But as far as me, sitting down here, writing...that season is over I think. At least for now. And I am okay with that.

My mother's party was this past weekend and yesterday I was so burnt out. It really opened my eyes to treasuring every moment of every day. Don't waste time on something that doesn't make you happy. I can't worry about what people think anymore or what they are saying about me. I don't live this life for them. And they don't control my happiness.

If you want to follow along as I rebrand my business, reinvent my online presence and revamp my shop, I can be found on Instagram and Twitter.

I truly believe that when you do something you love, others will love it to. So I'm off to do just that and I know it is going to be awesome!!

Day 4: Defining Love {31 Devotions in 31 Days}

"Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:39

Many of the negative emotions we are bound to usually stem from a desire. This desire is either to be loved to or to show love. It could be a young adolescent daydreaming about prince charming, a housewife secretly wanting her marriage to go emotionally deeper or a mother's heart aching as she raises her children. While none of these situations are wrong, often times they provoke the wrong emotions. These can be guilt, shame, lust, depression, anxiety and so on. These are the emotions we are trying to cut ties from. These are the emotions that we are seeking deliverance from. These emotions that haunt our nights and consume our days...stealing our joy and happiness. That's what this challenge is trying to accomplish. To break the chains and set us free, for good.

When the word "love" comes up, it can spark many different definitions for different people. Memories and thoughts will flood our minds, which in turn showcases what we think love is and what love is not. In order to find the proper definition, we must go to the One who has defined love: The Lord Jesus Christ. For it is His demonstration of love that defines what it is in the greatest measure and who He is in the greatest depth.

And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.

1 Timothy 3:16

When we are in a relationship, the most important thing is knowing that person's name. It is second nature for us to call the names of our friends and family who we see often or have an association with. We don't have to think twice. It is engrained into our minds and when we see that person, that name will come into our thoughts. It is the greatest identification system ever created.

However, when we think of God, there is confusion as to what to call Him. What is God's name? When we hear of God, we usually hear of three main titles but we rarely hear of God having an actual name. These titles are the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost (or Spirit).

"There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all."

Ephesians 4:4-6

The Bible tells us that God is one, not three separate beings. Though God is the Father, and He is the Son and He is the Holy Ghost, He still needs to have One name. And that name is Jesus Christ!

Think of it like this. As a lady, you are someone's daughter. You may also be someone's sister and someone else's cousin. Those are three different titles: daughter, sister and cousin. Does that mean you are three different people? Absolutely not!

Those are your titles but they are under one name: yours! Your name may be Mary, for example, but you can be Mary the daughter, Mary the sister or Mary the cousin, depending on what you are doing and where you are. 

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

"And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." John 1:14

Our great big God made Himself known to His creation by becoming a man and sacrificing His blood for us at Calvary. Our Father loves us so much, that He was willing to put limitations on Himself in order to be the pure Lamb, so that we have an opportunity to be cleansed of sin. How amazing is that?! God is the source of true love because He IS love! Love was defined at Calvary and can still be found when we humble ourselves and submit to Him. 

"Ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me. I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour. I have declared, and have saved, and I have shewed, when there was no strange god among you: therefore ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, that I am God."

Isaiah 43:10-12

"Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God: Yet ye have not known him; but I know him: and if I should say, I know him not, I shall be a liar like unto you: but I know him, and keep his saying. Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day: and he saw it, and was glad. 

Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham? Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am."

John 8:54-58

"And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them? 

And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you."

Exodus 3:13-14

"Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; And did all eat the same spiritual meat; 

And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ."

1 Corinthians 10:1-4

The Lord Jesus Christ is the Great I AM! He was that spiritual Rock in Moses' day and He is still that spiritual Rock for us. His love knows no boundaries, no time frames, no limitations. Even though God took on physical limitations as a man, it never changed His Identity, Character or Person. He was always One and His Name was always the same. He was and is the Deity who thoroughly loves His children.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

Reflection:
This world has truly perverted and distorted the real definition of love. Love is not wrapped in a hot night of passion. Love is not googly eyes from across the room. That is lust and human emotion. True love is defined at Calvary, where the Lord Jesus Christ died to cleanse you and I from sin, which includes unhealthy emotional bondage. Love is action and God demonstrated that in the highest form.

Action:
Now is the time to put aside our own thoughts, mindsets and desires to better understand the love of God. In order for us to love others, we must first love God and to do that, we must know Him. It will be through this knowledge that His truth will spring forth and consume the darkness that it holding us. The Bible says in Him is no darkness at all and that whom He sets free, will be free indeed!

Prayer:
Father, You are truly magnificent. Your power is infinite and Your abilities are astounding. I'm thankful for Your Plan and that it included salvation for us. We desire to know true love, in You. Lord Jesus, please show us who You really are, that we may understand the depth of Calvary. So that we may be washed clean from false teaching and idolatry. That we can receive a real revelation and be transformed. Thank You for becoming a man, for humbling Yourself and being obedient to the cross. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Who do you love in your life (besides God)?

If love is action, how do you show it?

Tomorrow's Devotion Topic: Our Expectations
For a full list of daily devotional topics & more information about 31 Devotion in 31 Days: Breaking The Chains, go here to read the original post.

UPDATE!! GET THE "BREAKING THE CHAINS" DEVOTIONAL EBOOK >>

Day 3: Real Faith {31 Devotions in 31 Days}

As the third day of Breaking the Chains is upon us, I can't help but feel a difference within myself. How about you? Day 1, we spoke about the power of the Word. Day 2 complimented that with praying through and how it is vital to our deliverance to keep an open communication with God. After all, He seeks after a relationship not our traditions. 

Today, we are going to talk about real faith. What do I mean by "real faith"? New age Christianity has become comfortable in mixing the words "faith" and "hope". Many of us have found ourselves praying with a hopeful heart more than a faithful heart. Hope is a beautiful thing. When we have hope, we are given a positive mindset to go on through our trials. However, in order to have a real deliverance from emotional impurity, we have to have faith and lots of it.

My pastor blesses us with each sermon because of his faith; his knowledge of who the Lord Jesus Christ is. He is a biblical scholar and teacher, using every opportunity he is given to help us go deeper into the Word. I encourage you to listen to our church's podcast right here. One of my favorite quotes from my pastor is "Faith is not a hope-so. It's a know-so." Real faith is real knowledge about the God we claim to love and serve. It is not hoping we understand but it is having the right information about Him so that we may be able to please Him.
This is the definition of faith courtesy of my pastor:

Faith is the personal intimate knowledge of the Person, Identity and Plan of God that enables you to discern what He intends to do, so that you can work in harmony with Him.

When we tell one another to "have faith" what do we mean? Most of the time, we are implying to be hopeful. This is not the same as faithful. When we have real faith, we have true knowledge of who God is and therefore can make the right choices in our life. Through making the right choices, we become faithful to God.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report. Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear."
Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith is the substance! That substance is knowledge that is obtained through studying the Word of God and communicating with Him through prayer. With that faith, that knowledge, we then are able to understand and see things is a spiritual light. 2 Corinthians 5:7 says "For we walk by faith, not by sight", which means we should be walking by our knowledge and not by our carnality.

"There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all." Ephesians 4:4-6

Faith is powered by love. It is because of the Lord's love that we are able to have knowledge of Him. Our relationship with Him rests upon our faith. Without the right knowledge, we cannot have the right relationship. Therefore, our hearts will remain unclean.

Reflection:
Faith is not a hope. Faith is not acknowledgement. Faith IS knowledge! The truth exercised in our mind. Think about your faith. How well do you know God? How deep is your faith? To break the chains around depression, fear and anxiety it is going to take more than a hope. It's going to take real faith!

Action:
Take some time today to ask the Lord to reveal who He is to you. Pray for a real revelation. Ask that your mind and thoughts be changed and directed to new territory. Ask the Lord to reveal any false knowledge that you may have of Him and to guide you towards having real faith. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and resist feeling prideful or shameful. We want to build on what He has already done in your life, not take it away.

Prayer:
Lord Jesus,
We are truly blessed to have a God who cares about our hearts and minds. Thank You for loving us so much, that You have provided the knowledge we need to not only understand who You are but Your plan for our lives. We ask, Lord, for a renewed revelation. Please break down any false mindsets we may have built up. Help us to gain real faith by Your Word and prayer. Help us with our desires, that our relationship with You may reach a deeper level. Thank You for Your love. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to rest upon your knowledge of God (your faith) in order to get through?

Tomorrow's Devotion Topic: Defining Love
For a full list of daily devotional topics & more information about 31 Devotion in 31 Days: Breaking The Chains, go here to read the original post.

UPDATE!! GET THE "BREAKING THE CHAINS" DEVOTIONAL EBOOK >>

Sunday Devotion: God is Not Our Enemy

Someone tweeted this thought provoking line:

"He is enough to break the chains of my disobedience."

It got me thinking. Yes, He is definitely enough! The Lord has been showing me this week just how perfect He really is. There is no fault in Him. If something is not right in our lives, we shouldn't blame God. He is our Deliverer, Provider and Saviour. Everything He does has a purpose and is perfect. He is love and cannot deny Himself (1 Timothy 2:14), therefore He acts within the boundaries of love.

I couldn't help but think, however, that this person might be using the quote as a crutch to not do anything about their disobedience. It is a very dangerous thing when we don't take responsibility for our disobedience and just expect God's grace to clean us, when we won't let go of our dirty laundry. Yes, God is surely enough...but He has given us free will and we can pray all day for Him to take away our sin yet never loosen our grip. It's like telling your mom to take your car keys because you shouldn't be driving and yet your knuckles are turning white as she's trying to pry them out of your clenched fists. God will never force obedience. He requires it.

My pastor's wife once said:

"Our enemies are not other people. They are the devil, the world and sin."

Many times in this life, we tend to lash out at other people or God as if they are our enemies. The deep problem is never resolved because the accusation was not correct. Yes, other people can say and do ridiculously dumb and hurtful things. However, it is their sinful nature and what they've allowed into their hearts. They absolutely need to be accountable for their actions and words. But we also need to be careful not the put labels on our fellow brethren. The enemy works to turn us against one another for he is the accuser of our brethren (Revelation 12:10.) It's their sin that is our enemy. They are actually victims in the hands of a disobedient, rebellious world. They have been deceived by the enemy. And they need us to love more and pray for a spiritual awakening.

One of my favorite shirts is from JCLU. It reads "Hate the sin. Love the sinner." The shirt is no longer available but you can see it here in an old post (pardon the bad writing.)
The saying really put things into perspective for me. We are commanded to love others, even those we think are enemies. The Lord sees past the flesh, this body, and sees the soul. He sees that it is really sin that governs people and they are in need of deliverance from a stronghold.

It reminds me of an often mistaken quote that's been floating around the internet. Many credit C.S. Lewis but actually the quote derives from a novel by William M. Miller Jr. This just confirms how we should always research something before believing it. That's another devotion entirely.
Miller's quote reads:

"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."

This coming week, I pray that we can break the chains around false mindsets, setting our minds free of untrue beliefs. To pray and forgive those who we claim are our enemies, even if we think it's God Himself. I pray for truth to be revealed. We cannot base our faith on how we feel; we must have a solid foundation. That can only come from the Lord Jesus Christ, His Word and taking time to seek Him through prayer.

I will leave you with some truths:

The Lord Jesus Christ, our God and Saviour, is enough.
His blood covers ALL sin, not just some.
His salvation is perfect and available to everyone
We must do all that we can to be in right standing with Him.
He will meet our needs and will never fail us.
He is not our enemy.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9  

Dear David...{Things I'll Tell Your Future Wife: Letter 10}

Photo Credit / j&s Photography

Dear David...

Just typing out the title of this post made mommy's heart and tummy hurt. You are barely 16 months old and I don't want to think about you getting married {if you do}. Right now, I love how you only have eyes for Daddy and I, running around the living room content with a remote control and a Popsicle. However, my mind was completely blank with zero ideas for this week's letter. Until the Lord illuminated a personal situation, thus inspiring me to write this post. So even though in the future I'll be speaking one-on-one to your wife-to-be, right now I'd like you to know what I will say. This way, you will know where my heart is coming from.

There are plenty I could say to your future wife. I don't want to talk with a lot of words with empty impact. Simple statements can make more of a difference than a long lecture. So, that being said, I'll tell your future wife...

Edify, Uplift, Bless.

Nagging never works. You may want to nag my son because he didn't complete a chore in a certain time frame or you don't feel like he is listening to you. Please, don't. Not because I'm protective {which I am} but because it does no good. Nagging tears down and doesn't build up. Look at the positive. If he completed a task, who cares if he did it because you asked him or that it was finished five minutes before you came home from Ladies Conference! Be grateful. Tell him he did a great job. Thank him. Make him feel good. Bless him with words of edification that will uplift his self-worth. It will only move him to want to bless you back. This will stop a lot of "power struggle" fighting and improve your communication

Always Be Faithful.

My son may not always do the right thing. I will do my best to raise him as a fine gentleman, strong in the Lord and filled with integrity. But he is his own person and will make his own decisions. Let him. You can still state how you feel but sometimes letting him make mistakes {even if it affects the entire family unit} can be for the best. It is scary. It is hard. But no matter what, you be faithful to the Lord and what He says. My son may decide to do something against God. It is very difficult for us to stop people when they do that. But we can pray for them. We can still go to church, read the Bible, and listen to the preaching. Be faithful to God, to your marriage, to your commitment. Try not to let my son's wavering rock your walk. Keep going. Because even though you may think he is far gone, he is still your husband and watching every step you make. Make those steps faithful.

Don't Hoard Love.

There will be times you may feel unloved, ignored or taken advantage of. Know this: it may not be intentional. We females are emotional beings and this can cause feelings that are only one sided. If my son says or does something that offends you, go to him with your concern. Don't hold in anger and hoard love. It is a natural instinct to protect ourselves from harm. You must remember that you've done or said things that probably offended him too. If you did, ask for forgiveness. Regardless if he forgives or not, love anyway. Love because God is love and He did not hold anything back from us. It didn't matter how He was treated, He still loved and continues to love. Hoarding love causes sickness and poisons a heart. Hoarding love burns bridges and suffocates growth. Let it go. In the end, we must all be accountable for our actions. My son will face the music in time, should his actions stray. We are not Saviour. We are "wife". He is your other half, so pour love into him if you see he is empty. It may be the very thing that could change his world.

Love,
Mom
{PS: It's okay. You can call me that.}

Linking up to:
Mommy Brain Mixer

Dear David...{Here We Are: Letter 9}

 >>>>Photography Credit: J&S Photography <<<<

Dear David...

Well, here we are.
You are 15 months and started walking everywhere. Remote controls and Jackie's crate are some of your favorite things at the moment.You took your first real steps at 11 months but had no interest in continuing until now. Daddy got a {well-deserved} raise at his job and Mommy's business is taking off. The summer is coming to an end and it has been eventful and amazing. These are just little things I want to remember about this moment...the biggest thing is how much we have grown as a family.

I have to admit, it is easy to forget how truly blessed we are {I am.} We had our first real family photo shoot this past Saturday and looking at the photos made my heart swell. There is nothing more beautiful than having a family. To laugh with, play with, grow with...we are not perfect but we can uplift and encourage one another.

Here's the reality: there may come a time as you grow older, you may start to resent us. You might even feel hatred towards Daddy and Mommy. Emotions, adolescence, friends, independence will take over your life and your priorities might slip. I know, I've been there.

When you feel you are alone, I want you to look at these photos. You can be 15 or 50...it doesn't matter. I want you to see our faces; the true love that Daddy & Mommy have/feel for our boy. You are our world and though there may be moments it doesn't seem that way, just know that whatever you do, our hearts will not sway away from loving you. You will make mistakes but we won't love you any less. You will fall, but we will be there to help you up. You will cry, scream, yell, have a broken heart...and we will promise to always be available. Open. Listen. Ready to hold you and pick you back up.

Remember that, David. We are a family and God honors that. Even before His glorious church, family was/is priority. Daddy & Mommy have spent many nights talking to Grandma & Grandpa; crying, learning, growing. They were/are always there for us, ministering to our hearts and minds. And Daddy & Mommy will be there for you too. Always.

So as the years past and you start to feel different, please remember that our love will never differ. Your actions do not dictate the level of love we have for you. You can never out grow our love. Here we are...and here we will stay.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Good vs Evil: Letter 8}

I've started a series of letters to my baby boy, that (hopefully) one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

Dear David...

So mommy has been thinking a lot lately. Surprise surprise.

I've been thinking about how to teach you about God and His ways. Then I thought about how scary this world is and how modern day Christians have ruined Jesus' good name. I'm not saying every Christian, son...just those who are not discerning.

You see, we as believers have a lot of knowledge about God and we feel differently than non-believers. The Bible says that the real battle of good and evil is not in our human hands, in our flesh, but it takes place on a spiritual level (Ephesians 6:12) But there are too many of us arguing, fighting, yelling, shouting our beliefs in the face of people who oppose God and His church. This is just not how we should act, my boy.

Let me clarify: you must be bold and stand firm in what you believe. You have nothing to fear (1 Timothy 1:7) and all power lies in Christ Jesus our Lord. The problem lies when we waste our time and our breath with those whose heart are hardened and not ready to receive. His Word stands on it's own; we do not add to it's strength by trying to use our own.

Society has turned good into evil and evil into good. What once was wrong is now being accepted and what once was right is now being condemned. Though on the surface it seems that people are the cause of these issues, the battle is spiritual. There are dark forces at work against good. This is not a new concept, son. It all started in the garden (Genesis 3).

But how do we, as Christians, deal with this change?
How do we act when approached with criticism and condemnation?

I want you to know, David, that you do not owe anyone anything except for our God, the Lord Jesus Christ. You do not have to entertain these spirits by engaging in debates or arguments. You can respond with love and careful words. Pray for them. Remember that they are a product of their circumstance just as much as you (and I) are. Approach them with a compassionate heart, not closed fists.

God doesn't change. Not even for us Christians, regardless what some believe. His ways stand and His words are eternal. He set the standard and truth, and it doesn't matter what happens, He is still in control. Don't lose your patience with a world who has lost God. He is here, waiting for us all to turn to Him. Remind yourself that the more you scream, shout, fight with your entire being cannot change an evil heart.

But a soft word, a calm approach, a peaceful conversation can make more of an impact (Proverbs 15:1).

For the record, mommy doesn't argue with folks who are not ready to hear the truth. I have saved my strength to minister to the broken, those who are hurting and are in search for a holy hospital. Those who understand that something is not right but they don't know what to do or where to turn. Yet they are seeking and hoping and praying for clarity and charity. We cannot approach everyone in this world as evil doers, ready with our swords to slay them. No, son. There are some who need open hands and a warm embrace. For an eager ear to listen and for a clean heart to love them.

Be that, David. Don't mimic the loud trumpets of the church who sound off just to be heard and to be right. Be like Christ; humble and wise, knowing when to speak and when to just listen (John 6:35). Because, honestly, between the accusations and the evil darts, people just want to be loved. Be love, my son. Above all else, be love.

Love,
Mom