Dear David...{When You Have To Stand Alone: Letter 16}

Dear David,

It boggles my mind that you are two years old now. As we celebrated this crazy milestone last month, I took a look back at all the great moments we've had with you. You've enriched our life in so many ways. The joy that naturally spills out of your character is contagious. Just thinking about one day that smile fading because of a trial in life breaks my heart.

I very much have been feeling like I'm in Mama Bear mode lately. Every family is different and will raise their children the way they see fit. There are definite morals and beliefs we'd love to instill in you. We will do what we can to show you the beautiful grace of God and what He wants you to know from His Word. This probably won't be a popular parenting avenue.

In a world that is so desperately in need of truth, there will be those among us that mean well but have been deceived. Whether it's a best friend or a family member, they may not agree with your convictions. Son, when you feel something in your spirit is not right, stop and ask God why. Yield to that still small voice. Even if it means sacrificing relationships and standing alone.

I feel that way about a lot of things at the moment. It can be very lonely standing up for something that few people accept. Even in little things, we can feel overwhelmed and pressure to cave in. So we don't have to stand out. So we can go back to being comfortable instead of being in the midst of the crossfire. But don't. Don't go back to being comfortable, son. When God tells you to stand up for what is right, it doesn't matter if you're the only one who thinks it's right. Because He is on your side!

So when you want to stand up and speak truth, do it. So when you feel the Lord tugging at your heart to give something up because it's competition for His affection, do it. When you feel everyone is against you like the prophet Stephen, aiming their stones right at you, ready to bring you destruction...just stand.

Because when you stand alone, you are never really alone. We serve a God that overcame the grave. He made Himself known by becoming flesh and giving His life for us. When we obey Him, even if no one else sees what you see...God sees. Even when no one else believes what you believe or hears what you hear or feels what you feel...He does. All of it. He is with you. And He will never leave you.

My David, I wish I could be Mama Bear all the days of your life. And I'll probably try. But you will grow and will be your own man some day. You will have experiences and create memories that will shape you. I just pray that deep inside you will pursue the path of righteousness in Jesus with everything you have. And in those moments when you have to stand alone, you will feel His presence. You will feel peace in the decision to yield to the Spirit.

Even if no one else wants to stand beside you.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Things I'll Tell Your Future Wife: Letter 10}

Photo Credit / j&s Photography

Dear David...

Just typing out the title of this post made mommy's heart and tummy hurt. You are barely 16 months old and I don't want to think about you getting married {if you do}. Right now, I love how you only have eyes for Daddy and I, running around the living room content with a remote control and a Popsicle. However, my mind was completely blank with zero ideas for this week's letter. Until the Lord illuminated a personal situation, thus inspiring me to write this post. So even though in the future I'll be speaking one-on-one to your wife-to-be, right now I'd like you to know what I will say. This way, you will know where my heart is coming from.

There are plenty I could say to your future wife. I don't want to talk with a lot of words with empty impact. Simple statements can make more of a difference than a long lecture. So, that being said, I'll tell your future wife...

Edify, Uplift, Bless.

Nagging never works. You may want to nag my son because he didn't complete a chore in a certain time frame or you don't feel like he is listening to you. Please, don't. Not because I'm protective {which I am} but because it does no good. Nagging tears down and doesn't build up. Look at the positive. If he completed a task, who cares if he did it because you asked him or that it was finished five minutes before you came home from Ladies Conference! Be grateful. Tell him he did a great job. Thank him. Make him feel good. Bless him with words of edification that will uplift his self-worth. It will only move him to want to bless you back. This will stop a lot of "power struggle" fighting and improve your communication

Always Be Faithful.

My son may not always do the right thing. I will do my best to raise him as a fine gentleman, strong in the Lord and filled with integrity. But he is his own person and will make his own decisions. Let him. You can still state how you feel but sometimes letting him make mistakes {even if it affects the entire family unit} can be for the best. It is scary. It is hard. But no matter what, you be faithful to the Lord and what He says. My son may decide to do something against God. It is very difficult for us to stop people when they do that. But we can pray for them. We can still go to church, read the Bible, and listen to the preaching. Be faithful to God, to your marriage, to your commitment. Try not to let my son's wavering rock your walk. Keep going. Because even though you may think he is far gone, he is still your husband and watching every step you make. Make those steps faithful.

Don't Hoard Love.

There will be times you may feel unloved, ignored or taken advantage of. Know this: it may not be intentional. We females are emotional beings and this can cause feelings that are only one sided. If my son says or does something that offends you, go to him with your concern. Don't hold in anger and hoard love. It is a natural instinct to protect ourselves from harm. You must remember that you've done or said things that probably offended him too. If you did, ask for forgiveness. Regardless if he forgives or not, love anyway. Love because God is love and He did not hold anything back from us. It didn't matter how He was treated, He still loved and continues to love. Hoarding love causes sickness and poisons a heart. Hoarding love burns bridges and suffocates growth. Let it go. In the end, we must all be accountable for our actions. My son will face the music in time, should his actions stray. We are not Saviour. We are "wife". He is your other half, so pour love into him if you see he is empty. It may be the very thing that could change his world.

Love,
Mom
{PS: It's okay. You can call me that.}

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Letter to Myself: Be Content

Dear Jacy,

Last night you were a little emotional. By little I mean a whole lot. I know you were feeling worn and tired after having a toddler pull at you all day, then not eat anything you put in front of him. You feel like your effort is useless and that nothing you do gets noticed. You feel like you are being pulled into 100,000,000 directions...and all you want to do is focus on the One.

I want to tell you that your attitude was wrong. You victimized yourself and manipulated the situation, which you are very good at if I do say so myself. We are not to do things to get noticed. You are appreciated and you know that. Your husband tells you almost every day. Still, you are not content. And it really bothers me because I have to deal with it. Think on these things:

While most women long for love, God blessed you with a hardworking husband, who encourages you, is proud of you and loves that his wife can stay home with his darling boy. Be content in love.

While most women cannot have children, you have a beautiful son. Training him now is hard work and you won't see the fruit of your labor until he's grown. But don't rush it. Be content in the season.

While most children play in the streets or live in drug-infested homes, your living room is messy because it's a safe playground. He feels happy here and it shows. Be content in the clutter.

While most families are poor and starving, your kitchen counter is cluttered with dirty dishes and cups. It's because you are rich in nutrition and your family eats well. Be content in the mess.

While most people are sick and hospital bound, your bed is not made and the sheets are not perfectly tucked. You and your husband sleep well and are provided with comfort. Be content in rest.

While you huff / complain / whine / groan / sulk, others have no money, no food, no home and no family. You are rich, no matter what society says. God says your are. You lack NOTHING. Be content with what you have because it is everything you need.

Love,
You
{and that's not just a signature. it's a commandment}

Dear David...{Here We Are: Letter 9}

 >>>>Photography Credit: J&S Photography <<<<

Dear David...

Well, here we are.
You are 15 months and started walking everywhere. Remote controls and Jackie's crate are some of your favorite things at the moment.You took your first real steps at 11 months but had no interest in continuing until now. Daddy got a {well-deserved} raise at his job and Mommy's business is taking off. The summer is coming to an end and it has been eventful and amazing. These are just little things I want to remember about this moment...the biggest thing is how much we have grown as a family.

I have to admit, it is easy to forget how truly blessed we are {I am.} We had our first real family photo shoot this past Saturday and looking at the photos made my heart swell. There is nothing more beautiful than having a family. To laugh with, play with, grow with...we are not perfect but we can uplift and encourage one another.

Here's the reality: there may come a time as you grow older, you may start to resent us. You might even feel hatred towards Daddy and Mommy. Emotions, adolescence, friends, independence will take over your life and your priorities might slip. I know, I've been there.

When you feel you are alone, I want you to look at these photos. You can be 15 or 50...it doesn't matter. I want you to see our faces; the true love that Daddy & Mommy have/feel for our boy. You are our world and though there may be moments it doesn't seem that way, just know that whatever you do, our hearts will not sway away from loving you. You will make mistakes but we won't love you any less. You will fall, but we will be there to help you up. You will cry, scream, yell, have a broken heart...and we will promise to always be available. Open. Listen. Ready to hold you and pick you back up.

Remember that, David. We are a family and God honors that. Even before His glorious church, family was/is priority. Daddy & Mommy have spent many nights talking to Grandma & Grandpa; crying, learning, growing. They were/are always there for us, ministering to our hearts and minds. And Daddy & Mommy will be there for you too. Always.

So as the years past and you start to feel different, please remember that our love will never differ. Your actions do not dictate the level of love we have for you. You can never out grow our love. Here we are...and here we will stay.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Good vs Evil: Letter 8}

I've started a series of letters to my baby boy, that (hopefully) one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

Dear David...

So mommy has been thinking a lot lately. Surprise surprise.

I've been thinking about how to teach you about God and His ways. Then I thought about how scary this world is and how modern day Christians have ruined Jesus' good name. I'm not saying every Christian, son...just those who are not discerning.

You see, we as believers have a lot of knowledge about God and we feel differently than non-believers. The Bible says that the real battle of good and evil is not in our human hands, in our flesh, but it takes place on a spiritual level (Ephesians 6:12) But there are too many of us arguing, fighting, yelling, shouting our beliefs in the face of people who oppose God and His church. This is just not how we should act, my boy.

Let me clarify: you must be bold and stand firm in what you believe. You have nothing to fear (1 Timothy 1:7) and all power lies in Christ Jesus our Lord. The problem lies when we waste our time and our breath with those whose heart are hardened and not ready to receive. His Word stands on it's own; we do not add to it's strength by trying to use our own.

Society has turned good into evil and evil into good. What once was wrong is now being accepted and what once was right is now being condemned. Though on the surface it seems that people are the cause of these issues, the battle is spiritual. There are dark forces at work against good. This is not a new concept, son. It all started in the garden (Genesis 3).

But how do we, as Christians, deal with this change?
How do we act when approached with criticism and condemnation?

I want you to know, David, that you do not owe anyone anything except for our God, the Lord Jesus Christ. You do not have to entertain these spirits by engaging in debates or arguments. You can respond with love and careful words. Pray for them. Remember that they are a product of their circumstance just as much as you (and I) are. Approach them with a compassionate heart, not closed fists.

God doesn't change. Not even for us Christians, regardless what some believe. His ways stand and His words are eternal. He set the standard and truth, and it doesn't matter what happens, He is still in control. Don't lose your patience with a world who has lost God. He is here, waiting for us all to turn to Him. Remind yourself that the more you scream, shout, fight with your entire being cannot change an evil heart.

But a soft word, a calm approach, a peaceful conversation can make more of an impact (Proverbs 15:1).

For the record, mommy doesn't argue with folks who are not ready to hear the truth. I have saved my strength to minister to the broken, those who are hurting and are in search for a holy hospital. Those who understand that something is not right but they don't know what to do or where to turn. Yet they are seeking and hoping and praying for clarity and charity. We cannot approach everyone in this world as evil doers, ready with our swords to slay them. No, son. There are some who need open hands and a warm embrace. For an eager ear to listen and for a clean heart to love them.

Be that, David. Don't mimic the loud trumpets of the church who sound off just to be heard and to be right. Be like Christ; humble and wise, knowing when to speak and when to just listen (John 6:35). Because, honestly, between the accusations and the evil darts, people just want to be loved. Be love, my son. Above all else, be love.

Love,
Mom

3 Steps Towards Writing Your First Book

When I first began writing, it was in middle school. I would write short stories or start writing ideas in hopes they would become books but I lacked follow through. I guess that's what happens to a creatively-distracted 12 year old girl.

In 2012, when I completed my first paperback book The Palace Keepers, I could hardly believe it. I actually followed through and finished writing a book! All of those handwritten scrap papers and binders filled with notes for the past four years were now nicely typed, edited and published in a real, tangible, legit book. Wow. Not only was it a confidence booster but it really taught me a lot about what writing really is and not what I thought it was.

Before you even start the first page, I wanted to share three steps to help you towards writing your book. There are a lot of false mindsets about writing that I had to break down and power through. I hope you can start off on a better foot and clear your mind of some clutter. Regardless of the genre or style, these tips can help your mind prepare for what is to come.

STEP #1: Pray.

You might not be a Christian writer like I am, but in this step take a moment to reflect on what you want to write and why you want to write it. Start a prayer or devotion journal for writing. Before you write, sit down and journal your thoughts and feelings. Meditate, find peace and invite patience into your space. For me, I ask God to direct my thoughts and words. When you take time before you write to get centered, you are more likely to create something you are proud of.

STEP #2: Plan.

I am a big advocate of writing without planning and it gets me into so much trouble. Schedule a time every day, usually the same time, strictly for working on your book. Not blog posts, not articles. Take time to map out your book summary, characters, chapters, layout, author voice etc. Focus on the bigger picture of what you want your book to sound like, feel like, be like. Think of your target audience and ask yourself some questions: What can I say to inspire them? How do I want the reader to feel when they finish my book? Then answer those questions. Keep them close by throughout the entire book writing process.

STEP #3: Push.

Even before you start the first word, distractions will call your name. Phone notifications will beep, emails will sing and neighbors will knock. That is life. Those can wait (unless your neighbor has an emergency, then send them next door to the other neighbor. Just kidding. Maybe.) Remember your scheduled writing time and stick to it. If you are having writer's block, take a minute to pray, review your plan and push through. Through the darkness, through the cobwebs and through the mess you call your mind. Sometimes it is good to take a break but don't use it as an excuse to slack.
Keep in mind: your dream is to become an author and write a book.

No one is going to write it for you, and quite honestly, no one can write it but you.

Dear David...{The Sky Is NOT The Limit: Letter 7}

I've started a series of letters to my baby boy, that (hopefully) one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)

Dear David...

There is a saying that many people use to try and encourage someone. Though I am sure the intentions are good, mommy has a different perspective.

It says: "The sky is the limit."

No. Sorry, son, it is NOT the limit. You see, when people say this, they don't really know what they are saying. It sounds good but the saying itself is very limited thinking. How can we tell people that the sky is as far as they can go? What about the stars? The universe?

As your mother and as an adult example I want to say:
"Why limit yourself to the sky when you can be among the stars and the heavens!"

Don't limit yourself by playing it safe. Reach higher, go farther, shine brighter!!
God made you in a special way. If you choose to follow His will and allow Him to guide you, there is no limit because through God, opportunities are limitless.

The sky is NOT the limit...it is only the beginning.
Don't settle for the limits other people may put on you. God is more powerful than that. You can do the incredible and the impossible because with God, ALL is possible! Nothing is too much, too hard, too great, too far for Him and we are well able to reach the stars and explore His glorious universe through His power and greatness.

Son, you are my shining star. In my darkest nights, your face is the light that shows me there is hope. Go be that and more to someone else. When you grow older, I don't ever want that light to dull or for your shine to be buffed away. My mommy bear instincts are already taking over as I write this because people will try. They will try to tell you that you can't go higher than the sky. They will whisper in your sweet ears that there is a line into greatness that you cannot cross. They will shout that you are not good enough, smart enough, handsome enough...

...and they are wrong. All wrong. Take those emotions inside, the yucky feeling they dumped on you and building yourself the tallest most beautiful latter! Past the sky, past the first star, past the first planet...and keep going and going and going...until God tells you "You are right where I want you."

Baby, don't settle for the sky when God created so, so much more...

Love,
Mom

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7 Signs He Might Be The One

The just man walketh in his integrity

Proverbs 20:7

Many people {myself included} have a tough time decoding the opposite sex. Okay, like everyone has this problem. The more we are around guys, the more confused we can get. I mean, what language are they speaking? Is that even English? And for the sake of all things holy, WHY do they insist on watching the same movie 18875556 billion times, drink from the juice carton {actually, I do that} and use every single dish in the cabinets before washing the first one? Yeah, I'm stumped too.

When we look at these little "quirks" {do we want to call them that? whatever too late}, we may not see the real gem that the guy is. Okay, so maybe he doesn't put the toilet seat down after use BUT he did just come in from helping the old lady next door unpack a car full of groceries. And yeah, it really is lame when he gets into a conversation about work {do we have all day to talk about his boss's obsession with Pokemon post-it notes?} BUT he isn't a slacker and has a great work ethic.

Hm, sounds like there may be some things we should pay more attention to than others. I've put together a list of 7 signs that might tell you he is "the one" {duh duh duhhhh.} This is not by all means a fool-proof list {as a fool is writing it} but it was created to get you thinking a different way about the guy in your life {or future guy.} 

7 Signs He Might Be "The One"

1.) HE VALUES YOUR TIME

You call and ask if he wants to go to lunch tomorrow at a local hangout...and he actually shows up! Not only that, he makes plans for the next day and keeps that as well. He may not be a total keeper but the fact is he cares enough about spending time with you and doesn't like standing you up. That has to count for something!

2.) HE RESPECTS YOUR DECISIONS

You may not see eye to eye on a lot of topics but when you decide you believe in something, he takes you at your word. Sure, he can put in his two cents if he feels you aren't making a wise choice but overall he understands you are your own person and allows you to make decisions. Even if it's as simple as what toppings you want on the pizza.

3.) HE ENCOURAGES YOUR DREAMS

Okay so he may not know a lot {or even a little} about being a super awesome teacher, accountant, ballerina, concession stand worker, street performer or a blogger but he knows it's important to you. He sees what you are passionate about and provides positive encouragement. Even if it's a simple "Go get 'em, babe" that's guy talk for "You can do it! I believe in you!"

4.) HE LISTENS TO YOUR ISSUES

Whether it's the big things {like your parents separating} or the small stuff {ouch! I stubbed my toe wicked hard} when you chat him up, he listens. I didn't say respond; even now my husband will listen for a good couple of minutes without responding to what I say. I often think his ears are turned off but then he can relay our entire conversation to his parents the next day. And I feel like a complete tool bag for assuming he didn't care. If he lets you drone on and on about old Dawson Creek episodes, your cat's insane cardboard box fetish or your little sister's rebellious bf, it shows a lot of patience in his character. I mean, really, would YOU even listen to you?

5.) HE CONFIDES HIS ISSUES

His turn! He has listened to you for a good hour complain about your co-worker's tuna and pineapple sandwiches, now he has something on his heart to share. There are some things that will always be kept secret. I don't know everything about my husband and that's a good thing. My big mouth may make situations worse! If your guy is willing to talk to you about his daddy issues, how he feels inadequate in a new job environment or his thoughts on the universe and God, it shows he trusts you.  Let it come natural and don't force it. Trying to force information out of any guy is a road leading to Cut Off Cliff.

6.) HE LOVES HIS FAMILY

And doesn't mind yours! Family is a big deal to me. We are super close and have tons of parties. It is rough when you are dating a guy who just sits in the corner not speaking to anyone. Maybe he is just shy but maybe that is a sign he is just not that into your family. My husband and I have a blast with both sides. We are blessed and we know it. He loves playing with my little brother and talking to my mother, and I love having heart to heart chats with his sisters. If he can tolerate your dad's baked bean outbursts {if you smell my drift} without gagging, keep him around a bit longer {at least before he passes out.}

7.) HE GIVES TO OTHERS

One of the best things about my man is that he loves to help someone. He knows his strengths and talents and doesn't mind helping {or giving advice.} It could be fixing the neighbor's car, helping his mother pick up after dinner, helping a friend move into a new apartment or lending a hand during a church service. Whatever it is, big or small, it shows a lot about his character and ability to think of someone other than himself.

We all know the dating world can be crazy, to say the least. I'm not saying if the guy is a cheater but has all of these 7 signs you should elope to Vegas. Like I said before, this is merrily a small guideline to get you thinking about him in a different way. I truly believe dating is an interview process for marriage. This list may help you, it may not, it could just be something to read and laugh at. Just do me a favor: take your time! Don't rush down the aisle or obsess over the latest wedding mag. Watch your guy, how he acts around other guys AND girls. Listen to what he says and HOW he says them. Take inventory of what you've learned and build your choices off of that list.

**This post was approved by Mr. Jonathan Pulford aka my handmade husband.**