Dear David...{Modest is NOT Hottest: Letter 17}

Dear David...

One of the biggest things about being your mama is making sure you honor and respect women. In a world where anything goes, what will never fly with your daddy and I is treating ladies like their not ladies. You know what I mean. Well, not yet, but you will eventually.

Recently, the phrase "Modest is Hottest" has been spoken a few times around me. It got me to think. I used to agree with it. Sounds cool, right? We are so hot because we are modest and not like those "other" girls. Kinda makes us feel powerful and like modesty has a purpose. 

Well, David, modesty does have a purpose and it goes much deeper than just "hot." Modesty is a form of preservation of the heart, mind, soul AND body...not just what we wear. The Bible says that we should not be conformed to this world. I'll take it further: neither should pure Christian values be subject to the language of the ungodly. The term "hot" promotes a sensual, sexually feeling. Does that sound modest? I don't think so.

Modest is NOT hottest. Modest is holiness. 

When a young lady covers her body in a way that pleases the Almighty God, it shouldn't be seen as "hot." Would the Lord use that term? We want to make dressing modestly an acceptable thing but it only matters because it's acceptable to God. A woman's heart is reflected in her wardrobe. Why else would some defend what they wear by saying "I dress for me, not for anyone else"? God cares just as much about the image woman portray through clothing as the very heart that chose what to put on. It is important to Him and we want to think it isn't. Even worse, we want to believe that the world AND the church accepts a modest wardrobe as the hottest thing ever instead of the holiest thing ever. 

It's by all means okay to be attracted to modestly dressed girls, but it should be a reflection of the holiness standards they have. Ladies who don't bare all and save those images for their husband should be applauded. In our church, they are. Just be aware that words have meanings and we must be purposeful when using them. Before you go around saying something, find out what it means and if God's okay with it.

I don't think God is okay with people calling his daughter's hot. I don't think the King of kings approves of the term being used for the modestly dressed princesses that will inherit the throne some day. No. He thinks of them much higher than that. And so should you. The Lord Jesus has called his adopted little girls to holiness. This calling means we no longer wear the clothing that represents poverty in sin. We have a new destiny!

So if you ever hear the phrase "Modest is Hottest", check your mindset. Remember that modesty is defined by the Lord's terms not the world's terms. It only took words for God to create the world. Let's not allow the world to use one word to dirty the holiness that is modesty.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{When You Have To Stand Alone: Letter 16}

Dear David,

It boggles my mind that you are two years old now. As we celebrated this crazy milestone last month, I took a look back at all the great moments we've had with you. You've enriched our life in so many ways. The joy that naturally spills out of your character is contagious. Just thinking about one day that smile fading because of a trial in life breaks my heart.

I very much have been feeling like I'm in Mama Bear mode lately. Every family is different and will raise their children the way they see fit. There are definite morals and beliefs we'd love to instill in you. We will do what we can to show you the beautiful grace of God and what He wants you to know from His Word. This probably won't be a popular parenting avenue.

In a world that is so desperately in need of truth, there will be those among us that mean well but have been deceived. Whether it's a best friend or a family member, they may not agree with your convictions. Son, when you feel something in your spirit is not right, stop and ask God why. Yield to that still small voice. Even if it means sacrificing relationships and standing alone.

I feel that way about a lot of things at the moment. It can be very lonely standing up for something that few people accept. Even in little things, we can feel overwhelmed and pressure to cave in. So we don't have to stand out. So we can go back to being comfortable instead of being in the midst of the crossfire. But don't. Don't go back to being comfortable, son. When God tells you to stand up for what is right, it doesn't matter if you're the only one who thinks it's right. Because He is on your side!

So when you want to stand up and speak truth, do it. So when you feel the Lord tugging at your heart to give something up because it's competition for His affection, do it. When you feel everyone is against you like the prophet Stephen, aiming their stones right at you, ready to bring you destruction...just stand.

Because when you stand alone, you are never really alone. We serve a God that overcame the grave. He made Himself known by becoming flesh and giving His life for us. When we obey Him, even if no one else sees what you see...God sees. Even when no one else believes what you believe or hears what you hear or feels what you feel...He does. All of it. He is with you. And He will never leave you.

My David, I wish I could be Mama Bear all the days of your life. And I'll probably try. But you will grow and will be your own man some day. You will have experiences and create memories that will shape you. I just pray that deep inside you will pursue the path of righteousness in Jesus with everything you have. And in those moments when you have to stand alone, you will feel His presence. You will feel peace in the decision to yield to the Spirit.

Even if no one else wants to stand beside you.

Love,
Mom

Dear David...{Things I'll Tell Your Future Wife: Letter 10}

Photo Credit / j&s Photography

Dear David...

Just typing out the title of this post made mommy's heart and tummy hurt. You are barely 16 months old and I don't want to think about you getting married {if you do}. Right now, I love how you only have eyes for Daddy and I, running around the living room content with a remote control and a Popsicle. However, my mind was completely blank with zero ideas for this week's letter. Until the Lord illuminated a personal situation, thus inspiring me to write this post. So even though in the future I'll be speaking one-on-one to your wife-to-be, right now I'd like you to know what I will say. This way, you will know where my heart is coming from.

There are plenty I could say to your future wife. I don't want to talk with a lot of words with empty impact. Simple statements can make more of a difference than a long lecture. So, that being said, I'll tell your future wife...

Edify, Uplift, Bless.

Nagging never works. You may want to nag my son because he didn't complete a chore in a certain time frame or you don't feel like he is listening to you. Please, don't. Not because I'm protective {which I am} but because it does no good. Nagging tears down and doesn't build up. Look at the positive. If he completed a task, who cares if he did it because you asked him or that it was finished five minutes before you came home from Ladies Conference! Be grateful. Tell him he did a great job. Thank him. Make him feel good. Bless him with words of edification that will uplift his self-worth. It will only move him to want to bless you back. This will stop a lot of "power struggle" fighting and improve your communication

Always Be Faithful.

My son may not always do the right thing. I will do my best to raise him as a fine gentleman, strong in the Lord and filled with integrity. But he is his own person and will make his own decisions. Let him. You can still state how you feel but sometimes letting him make mistakes {even if it affects the entire family unit} can be for the best. It is scary. It is hard. But no matter what, you be faithful to the Lord and what He says. My son may decide to do something against God. It is very difficult for us to stop people when they do that. But we can pray for them. We can still go to church, read the Bible, and listen to the preaching. Be faithful to God, to your marriage, to your commitment. Try not to let my son's wavering rock your walk. Keep going. Because even though you may think he is far gone, he is still your husband and watching every step you make. Make those steps faithful.

Don't Hoard Love.

There will be times you may feel unloved, ignored or taken advantage of. Know this: it may not be intentional. We females are emotional beings and this can cause feelings that are only one sided. If my son says or does something that offends you, go to him with your concern. Don't hold in anger and hoard love. It is a natural instinct to protect ourselves from harm. You must remember that you've done or said things that probably offended him too. If you did, ask for forgiveness. Regardless if he forgives or not, love anyway. Love because God is love and He did not hold anything back from us. It didn't matter how He was treated, He still loved and continues to love. Hoarding love causes sickness and poisons a heart. Hoarding love burns bridges and suffocates growth. Let it go. In the end, we must all be accountable for our actions. My son will face the music in time, should his actions stray. We are not Saviour. We are "wife". He is your other half, so pour love into him if you see he is empty. It may be the very thing that could change his world.

Love,
Mom
{PS: It's okay. You can call me that.}

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7 Signs He Might Be The One

The just man walketh in his integrity

Proverbs 20:7

Many people {myself included} have a tough time decoding the opposite sex. Okay, like everyone has this problem. The more we are around guys, the more confused we can get. I mean, what language are they speaking? Is that even English? And for the sake of all things holy, WHY do they insist on watching the same movie 18875556 billion times, drink from the juice carton {actually, I do that} and use every single dish in the cabinets before washing the first one? Yeah, I'm stumped too.

When we look at these little "quirks" {do we want to call them that? whatever too late}, we may not see the real gem that the guy is. Okay, so maybe he doesn't put the toilet seat down after use BUT he did just come in from helping the old lady next door unpack a car full of groceries. And yeah, it really is lame when he gets into a conversation about work {do we have all day to talk about his boss's obsession with Pokemon post-it notes?} BUT he isn't a slacker and has a great work ethic.

Hm, sounds like there may be some things we should pay more attention to than others. I've put together a list of 7 signs that might tell you he is "the one" {duh duh duhhhh.} This is not by all means a fool-proof list {as a fool is writing it} but it was created to get you thinking a different way about the guy in your life {or future guy.} 

7 Signs He Might Be "The One"

1.) HE VALUES YOUR TIME

You call and ask if he wants to go to lunch tomorrow at a local hangout...and he actually shows up! Not only that, he makes plans for the next day and keeps that as well. He may not be a total keeper but the fact is he cares enough about spending time with you and doesn't like standing you up. That has to count for something!

2.) HE RESPECTS YOUR DECISIONS

You may not see eye to eye on a lot of topics but when you decide you believe in something, he takes you at your word. Sure, he can put in his two cents if he feels you aren't making a wise choice but overall he understands you are your own person and allows you to make decisions. Even if it's as simple as what toppings you want on the pizza.

3.) HE ENCOURAGES YOUR DREAMS

Okay so he may not know a lot {or even a little} about being a super awesome teacher, accountant, ballerina, concession stand worker, street performer or a blogger but he knows it's important to you. He sees what you are passionate about and provides positive encouragement. Even if it's a simple "Go get 'em, babe" that's guy talk for "You can do it! I believe in you!"

4.) HE LISTENS TO YOUR ISSUES

Whether it's the big things {like your parents separating} or the small stuff {ouch! I stubbed my toe wicked hard} when you chat him up, he listens. I didn't say respond; even now my husband will listen for a good couple of minutes without responding to what I say. I often think his ears are turned off but then he can relay our entire conversation to his parents the next day. And I feel like a complete tool bag for assuming he didn't care. If he lets you drone on and on about old Dawson Creek episodes, your cat's insane cardboard box fetish or your little sister's rebellious bf, it shows a lot of patience in his character. I mean, really, would YOU even listen to you?

5.) HE CONFIDES HIS ISSUES

His turn! He has listened to you for a good hour complain about your co-worker's tuna and pineapple sandwiches, now he has something on his heart to share. There are some things that will always be kept secret. I don't know everything about my husband and that's a good thing. My big mouth may make situations worse! If your guy is willing to talk to you about his daddy issues, how he feels inadequate in a new job environment or his thoughts on the universe and God, it shows he trusts you.  Let it come natural and don't force it. Trying to force information out of any guy is a road leading to Cut Off Cliff.

6.) HE LOVES HIS FAMILY

And doesn't mind yours! Family is a big deal to me. We are super close and have tons of parties. It is rough when you are dating a guy who just sits in the corner not speaking to anyone. Maybe he is just shy but maybe that is a sign he is just not that into your family. My husband and I have a blast with both sides. We are blessed and we know it. He loves playing with my little brother and talking to my mother, and I love having heart to heart chats with his sisters. If he can tolerate your dad's baked bean outbursts {if you smell my drift} without gagging, keep him around a bit longer {at least before he passes out.}

7.) HE GIVES TO OTHERS

One of the best things about my man is that he loves to help someone. He knows his strengths and talents and doesn't mind helping {or giving advice.} It could be fixing the neighbor's car, helping his mother pick up after dinner, helping a friend move into a new apartment or lending a hand during a church service. Whatever it is, big or small, it shows a lot about his character and ability to think of someone other than himself.

We all know the dating world can be crazy, to say the least. I'm not saying if the guy is a cheater but has all of these 7 signs you should elope to Vegas. Like I said before, this is merrily a small guideline to get you thinking about him in a different way. I truly believe dating is an interview process for marriage. This list may help you, it may not, it could just be something to read and laugh at. Just do me a favor: take your time! Don't rush down the aisle or obsess over the latest wedding mag. Watch your guy, how he acts around other guys AND girls. Listen to what he says and HOW he says them. Take inventory of what you've learned and build your choices off of that list.

**This post was approved by Mr. Jonathan Pulford aka my handmade husband.**

50 Reasons My Son Needs His Dad

The Generations

From left to right: Jonathan {Daddy}, David {Son}, Pepe {Great Grandfather}, Don {Grandfather}

I've been thinking lately how truly blessed I am to not only have an amazing husband but that he is also a great father. Today, family's are defined differently and separate from the Word of God. Some young men feel they can do as they please without worrying about consequences or their responsibility. I personally have witnessed loved ones get wrapped up in some charming guy's arms, get pregnant and then dumped like yesterday's dirty diapers. This is not how God intended the family unit to begin. And that is not what those beautiful ladies deserve.

The neglected young woman then has to try and play both mother AND father, while also struggling to figure out who she is all the while working a full time job and even sometimes continuing her education. I'm not here to boast. I am not here to "rub it in you face." I am here to say that Jesus loves you and sees you. Hold on, it will get better!

It is too easy for me to sit in my comfortable home and complain about things that some other ladies dream about. It becomes normal, to have a man that actually WANTS to be there for his wife and son. I become selfish and caught up in my blessings. It is in these moments that I need to step back and analyze what God has given me. A beautiful life and a wonderful opportunity. To have the opportunity to raise a son with moral standards and honest intentions. We {my husband and I} are a team and can teach our son to respect a woman's heart and body.

As a mother, it is easy to see what my son needs from me. To be nurtured. To be fed. To be a godly example of a wife/mother. But as much as my son needs me, I feel he needs daddy more! As I pondered why, these reasons popped into my mind. I then showed my husband and he was pleased. Feel free to share and comment if you are led to. I hope this encourages your heart and uplifts your spirit.

1.  He needs dad to bond with
2. He needs dad to play
3. He needs dad to teach him how to fix things
4. He needs dad to make mud pies with
5. He needs dad to help him develop his personality
6. He needs dad to teach him how to DO things
7. He needs dad to teach him to think
8. He needs dad to help him grow
9. He needs dad to share laughs
10. He needs dad to teach him bowling
11. He needs dad to teach him to take chances
12. He needs dad to learn to tackle his fears
13. He needs dad to encourage taking risks
14. He needs dad's life experiences
15. He needs dad to run with
16. He needs dad jump with
17. He needs dad to explore with
18. He needs dad to listen when he's hurting
19. He needs dad to speak to his heart
20. He needs dad to cry with
21. He needs dad to teach him good work ethics
22. He needs dad to learn that men make mistake too, and it's okay
23. He needs dad to know he isn't alone
24. He needs dad as a buddy
25. He needs dad to share goals and dreams with
26. He needs dad's practical approach
27. He needs dad to dig with
28. He needs dad to fish with {though mommy will happily be there :)}
29. He needs dad to go on trips with
30. He needs dad to make memories with him
31. He needs dad to teach him the value of money
32. He needs dad to make mom crazy{er}
33. He needs dad to encourage him
34. He needs dad to lean on
35. He needs dad to swim with
36. He needs dad to go on the boat with
37. He needs dad to have awesome summers
38. He needs dad to teach him wiffleball
39. He needs dad to love life with
40. He needs dad to believe in him
41. He needs dad to climb trees with him
42. He needs dad to be on his side
43. He needs dad to cheer him on
44. He needs dad to say he is proud of him
45. He needs dad to go hiking with
46. He needs dad to show him true integrity
47. He needs dad to answer his questions
48. He needs dad to teach him how to drive
49. He needs dad to feel secure
50. He needs dad to see that not all men are the same  

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Hello...I'm A Control Freak.

It's all smiles 'til something gets revealed...

Have you ever had an incredible revelation, something about yourself that a light bulb goes off inside your mind, and you think "oh yeah...that makes so much sense!" Last week, I had such a moment.

Remember when I announced that I was taking a break? Well, it did not take long for the Lord to show me that I had a real problem...a problem with control. Not only that, when I feel like I don't have control, this leads to a deep anger that I can't, well, control! I want to be perfect. I want things to be clean. I want people to be good. I want to have everything in its place, and if it gets moved, I get anxiety. I never could figure out what was wrong with me. This past month, I started noticing this was taking over my life...and that my priorities were out of whack because I wanted so bad to control every little thing, and make it a certain way, that nothing got done and I was more overwhelmed than when I started.

I've been reading an amazing book called The Pursuit of Proverbs 31 by Amy Bayliss. In it, Amy speaks with love, great conviction and a honest spirit about things we women struggle with, especially with this chapter and verse of the Bible. She herself wrote about her deliverance from the bondage of control, and I gotta tell ya...I saw myself in her story.
In the chapter "Shattering the Myths", Amy confesses being an over-achiever and that the more she tried to tackle her to-do list and failed, the more frazzled she got; the more frazzled she got, the harder she tried and became dissapointed again, like a "vicious cycle." Can you relate to that?? I can!!

One Sunday, she couldn't take it anymore and cried out to God. She asked Him to take it away from her...He replied "I did." She further explains how she didn't understand because she felt the same! Then she started to worship and tears began streaming down her face. He then said "Let go." She replied, "Let go of what?" "Control," He said. This part of the book hit me hard!! I realized that is exactly what God was telling me, right now...Jacy, let go of control!!
Wow, how can I say I am free in Christ if I am holding onto this power, this desire to control circumstances, people, even emotions?! I am in bondage to control!

Amy continues and asks the Lord how to let go. He tells her to "look down" where she sees a vision of chains all around her. They were unlocked this whole time! She had prevented her own freedom!

In my life, I find myself trying to control what other people do because "I know better" which is not only control, but also self-righteousness. My mind also has been saturated with this judgmental and snarky attitude...not Christ-like at all! It's not enough to just recognize our sin...we must turn away, in other words, have true repentance. That's the hard part. That's where most of us fail. We crave change but we don't want to admit that we did anything wrong.

I don't want to hold on anymore. I want to let it go and be free, like who I'm suppose to be! Don't you? What are you struggling with today? Is there a bondage in your life that God is asking you to "let go"? Let us pray for one another. Comment if you'd like prayer...you don't have to say what you need prayer for unless you want to. Just your request is enough; God is big enough to know :) Since reading that chapter and having my own "let go" moment with God through prayer & repentance, I can tell you that I feel so much better! It takes time, daily, seeking Him to clean me and mold me...but it's better...I'm better...and that's a start...

Coffee Date: Vlog & Weekend Recap

Hey guys! Okay, this is my first attempt at a vlog, so go easy on me :) Actually it was a lot of fun and you will notice I am totally being me...crazy hair, and full Jacy moments...do you expect anything less?

So enjoy me recapping about last weekend when I spoke at a local church, let me know what you think. Also take a glimpse at some photos of that day below. I apologize, I wanted to share a video from that day but it's like 20 minutes long so I will have to get it on Youtube and link back next week sometime.
Btw, sorry for only posting once this week...me & the lil' man are getting ready to head to New Hampshire to visit my sister who is expecting, ah, so exciting! Will definitely have to have another weekend recap next week :)

Thanks for checking in with me and I hope you have a blessed weekend!

If we were having coffee together today, what would you share?

What are your plans this weekend? 

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