The "Catch Up" Bug

“The minute I start to try and mimic someone else, is the minute I suck.

You will always get the best response when you’re being yourself.”

{Mariel, or so she says blog}

About two years ago I discovered blogging. When I mean discovered, I don’t mean that I didn’t have a blog. I had one for a while but I was never really connected to it. I am talking about community. I don’t even know how it happened, really. It seemed a wonderful community of amazing bloggers found their way into my heart and now I have many relationships/friendships with people all over the country. I was pretty much hooked. The challenge came when I realized my little space on the internet was, well, behind. I had neglected my blog so much, that I felt I had to “catch up” to where other bloggers were. Yup, I had gotten bit by the “catch up bug.” What is “the catch up bug?”

If the thought “Man, their blog is so advanced and awesome, I really have to get on the ball and get moving” ever has come to mind, then we are on the same page here. “The catch up bug” is when you are cruising through the blogosphere and stumble upon a blog or some blogs that you start to admire. Then all of a sudden, wham! You get bit! You start to compare your blog with theirs. And that is when you start to feel woozy, confused and dizzy. Did you ever feel like that? Maybe you are going through this right now!

When we admire other blogs, it can either make or break us. Admiration is not the problem; the problem lies when we move from admiration to comparison. Feel me? It’s when you go from “I love their blog, the graphics are great and the posts are full of valuable resources” to “Wow, my blog does NOT measure up to their blog at all! I really have to change something, make a new header, create bigger buttons, blah, blah, blah…” You then feel as though your blog is less valuable.

There is a saying that is fitting here:
"Don't compare your beginning to someone's middle."

What I want to tell you is that even though other blogs seem like they have all the bells and whistles {I really dislike using this phrase but it’s the only one that fit what I’m trying to say}, you have to take care of your blog in the state it is currently is in. It’s taken quite a bit of time for those bigger blogs to get to where they are. Focus on the stage your blog is right now, having goals but not neglecting the present. I am preaching to the choir here, that is why I’m writing this…because I’ve been there! Like yesterday haha

It is okay to have goals and things you want to try that other blogs are doing, whether it’s graphics or post ideas, but the challenge then is to make sure you are still genuine.

You see, there are many advantages and disadvantages to being bitten by the “catch up bug”:

ADVANTAGES

-         You get ideas & references to something different you want to try

-         It gets you out of your comfort zone

-         Your mind starts thinking in different ways, exploring new options

-         Helps to motivate you into “do it mode” and away from “what if mode”

DISADVANTAGES

-         You start to feel inadequate

-         You lose the essence of who you are by trying too many things

-         You don’t take time to think things through and instead act without a purpose

-         Your readers may start to get turned off

The fact is, there will always be a blog bigger, better and greater. Sorry it’s true! {except for this blog, it’s pretty much the best overall, in the entire universe.} Turn it around though; some people may just be starting out and looking up to your blog. They may start to compare their blog with yours. I’ll leave you with this advice if the “catch up bug” ever bites you. Before you take any action, wait a few days. Think about what you want to do, why, how it will benefit or not benefit your blog. Make a plan on how you can make it your own. After all, there another bug that is much worse than the “catch up bug” and that is the “copy cat bug”!

Help, My Creative Mind Won't Stop!

But seriously though...I can't catch a break! I wake up in the middle of the night, mind full of ideas, my creativity overflowing that sometimes I give up precious sleep minutes to my project obsessions. I know, you can't relate.

What kind of obsessions? Custom premade illustrated blog banners, for one! I am like so in love with making these. There are only these three designs available in the shop right now but there will definitely be more coming. I also can do all custom ones special for any blog. As I'm typing this, I realize I can make them better by adding navigation links to the banner as well. You know, like "Advertise" "Shop" "Contact" etc...these will of course be clickable. *Sigh* See what I mean? My mind won't stop! Looks like I need to go tweak the designs but anyway they are super affordable and if you buy one, we can work on custom navigation links.


Another obsession: being creative in the kitchen. I've been wanting to share more recipes here but have realized it doesn't fit into what this space is about anymore. Sure, recipes can be creative and that is what I'm going for on "Art By Jacy". Yet I thought, why not start another blog? It's not like I have a house and a family to take care of or anything. But I started the "Food By Jacy" blog anyway! I'll post whenever I feel like, probably a few recipes a week. So please take a moment and head over there right here or by clicking on the screenshot above and check it out! Leave a comment with your honest thoughts. I'll be adding more recipes this week and there's still some things I need to add but I am impatient and wanted to share.

This week I'm planning/getting ready for David's 1st birthday party! Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. So even though my plate is full with all of that, my mind still won't stop being creative in my design & blogging projects. Oh well, story of my life.

What about you? What projects have been keeping your mind going?

Still That Girl

“You were young, you were free and you dared to believe you could be the girl who can change the world. Then your life took a turn and you fell and it hurt, but you’re still that girl and you’re gonna change this world…”

Britt Nicole {“Still that girl”/Gold}

If there is one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I love a good song. Not just any song. I’m talking about a song that moves your emotions to new depths and gives you instant goosebumps all over. You know what I mean?

The above quote is that song for me at the moment {another thing to note: I love Britt Nicole. Not only can she sing her socks off but you can tell she loves the Lord..and that rocks my socks off.} When I first heard “Still that girl”, I didn’t think too much about it. I mean, I liked the song, but it was just another tune on the playlist. Until I really listened to the lyrics one day while cleaning my studio…I love blasting music while doing that! Suddenly, Britt’s words pricked my heart and brought me back down memory lane…

When I was growing up, I was a dreamer. Surprise surprise. I always dreamed big but I never planned big. There is a difference. So when I started my first relationship and went away to college, those “big dreams” suddenly took a back seat to life. They didn’t have to but I made certain choices that this could not have been helped. Fast-forward to years later, I was heartbroken, sinking in guilt and shame for the life I had been leading.

Besides the details that I share in my book, another important thing haunted me. I went from a “dream seeker” to a “dream doubter.” What I mean by that is, I went from striving to reach big, to talking myself out of my desires. I made up excuses why I couldn’t live life as an artist {“I don’t have a degree!”} and why I could never write a book {“I am an awful speller!}. I started looking at all of the bad I had done and felt like none of it could be erased, so therefore, I could never change the world.

False! I totally lied to myself! I had let all of those negative things that had happened to me be in charge of my destiny. God had a plan for me all along, and though I had dug myself in a deep depressing hole of lame, He knew exactly what I needed to get out! And I did! Here I am, a work at home wife and mommy, living my dreams. I can officially call myself an artist and even an author. Whoa...

I am still that girl.

I am still that girl who loves to stare out of car windows and daydream.
I am still that girl who doodles on scrap paper, notebooks and cardboard boxes.
I am still that girl who laughs at the dumbest things even if I’m the only one!
I am still that girl who loves forts, lemonade stands in the summer and a cold slushy.
I am still that girl who gets butterflies when she sees him {but now he’s mine forever!}
I am still that girl who tries to be positive even when life hands you razor blades.
I am still that girl who believes there’s a God bigger than anything else, and it will be okay because He has all power and control over it all!

The question now is, who are you? Are you still that girl? Do you still dream big, aim high, seek the best out of every situation or have you let the situations of life steal that away? I want to tell you don’t let your past take away your dreams! You can still be that girl, only wiser {like me! uh kidding}

Nothing can hold you back unless you allow it. No one is going to do it for you; you have to be not only aware that you can change the world, but you have to believe it. Don’t be a “dream doubter”, you are better than that, always have been and always will be!

 Linking up @

Are Your Prayers Too Small?

"Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me."

Psalm 66:20

Then it happened. Normally I receive prayer requests about someone's sick relative or a financial blessing. Other times I don't even know what the request is. They simply ask for an unspoken, which is fine by me. The less I know, sometimes the better! God knows all the details anyways. Better Him than I.

But this time, it was a huge prayer request {whatever a "huge" request would be}. An overseas pastor is being held in prison because of his beliefs. As his family waits anxiously here in the states, this man of God is being tortured for the Lord Jesus Christ.

What?!
My first reaction is, of course, selfish:
How can I possibly pray for him? He is a man of God. This is insane...
Will the Lord even hear me?
I am way too small in this situation to make any difference.

And, as I try and talk myself out of praying for this man of God who needs hope and strength, something stirs within me. I realize how all of my daily prayers seem so small in comparison to other prayers BUT nothing is too small to bring to God.

When these moments come our way, should we just not pray because of our feeling of inadequacy?
Why do get out our mental scales and rulers, measuring and weighing the prayer request, checking to see if it fits into our capacity?

The truth is, we have nothing without God! The only reason we can pray is because He has given us a mind to think, a heart to feel and a mouth to utter words. Prayer is communication with the Master Communicator. When we try and pray within our own power, of course we will come up short. We have to be knowledgeable about the God we serve.

Am I really praying to the God of all creation, of water, Earth and sky? If so, what do I have to worry about! I need to stop measuring my prayers before bringing them to the Lord, who is bigger than all of them. He has all power and knows all things. The way He delivered Paul from prison, He can do the same for this pastor! Why not? God is in total control.

Have you stopped yourself from bringing a "big" prayer request to the Lord because you felt it was over your spiritual head?

Hello...I'm A Control Freak.

It's all smiles 'til something gets revealed...

Have you ever had an incredible revelation, something about yourself that a light bulb goes off inside your mind, and you think "oh yeah...that makes so much sense!" Last week, I had such a moment.

Remember when I announced that I was taking a break? Well, it did not take long for the Lord to show me that I had a real problem...a problem with control. Not only that, when I feel like I don't have control, this leads to a deep anger that I can't, well, control! I want to be perfect. I want things to be clean. I want people to be good. I want to have everything in its place, and if it gets moved, I get anxiety. I never could figure out what was wrong with me. This past month, I started noticing this was taking over my life...and that my priorities were out of whack because I wanted so bad to control every little thing, and make it a certain way, that nothing got done and I was more overwhelmed than when I started.

I've been reading an amazing book called The Pursuit of Proverbs 31 by Amy Bayliss. In it, Amy speaks with love, great conviction and a honest spirit about things we women struggle with, especially with this chapter and verse of the Bible. She herself wrote about her deliverance from the bondage of control, and I gotta tell ya...I saw myself in her story.
In the chapter "Shattering the Myths", Amy confesses being an over-achiever and that the more she tried to tackle her to-do list and failed, the more frazzled she got; the more frazzled she got, the harder she tried and became dissapointed again, like a "vicious cycle." Can you relate to that?? I can!!

One Sunday, she couldn't take it anymore and cried out to God. She asked Him to take it away from her...He replied "I did." She further explains how she didn't understand because she felt the same! Then she started to worship and tears began streaming down her face. He then said "Let go." She replied, "Let go of what?" "Control," He said. This part of the book hit me hard!! I realized that is exactly what God was telling me, right now...Jacy, let go of control!!
Wow, how can I say I am free in Christ if I am holding onto this power, this desire to control circumstances, people, even emotions?! I am in bondage to control!

Amy continues and asks the Lord how to let go. He tells her to "look down" where she sees a vision of chains all around her. They were unlocked this whole time! She had prevented her own freedom!

In my life, I find myself trying to control what other people do because "I know better" which is not only control, but also self-righteousness. My mind also has been saturated with this judgmental and snarky attitude...not Christ-like at all! It's not enough to just recognize our sin...we must turn away, in other words, have true repentance. That's the hard part. That's where most of us fail. We crave change but we don't want to admit that we did anything wrong.

I don't want to hold on anymore. I want to let it go and be free, like who I'm suppose to be! Don't you? What are you struggling with today? Is there a bondage in your life that God is asking you to "let go"? Let us pray for one another. Comment if you'd like prayer...you don't have to say what you need prayer for unless you want to. Just your request is enough; God is big enough to know :) Since reading that chapter and having my own "let go" moment with God through prayer & repentance, I can tell you that I feel so much better! It takes time, daily, seeking Him to clean me and mold me...but it's better...I'm better...and that's a start...

Celebration of a Life {My Grandpa, Mi Abuelo, Mi 'Welo"}

"Welo" & my beautiful mother on her wedding day

I knew I'd have to write about this at some point but I really didn't know what to say. I kinda still don't, truth be told. So if you'd excuse me for getting vulnerable & transparent, I'd like to talk about my grandfather...

He passed away a couple of days ago and it still hasn't hit me yet. I'm not sure if it's pregnancy hormones all outta whack or what...I actually expected myself to be really sensitive. Though I am in a way, I feel like God has been preparing me for this moment. I am extremely sad of course but I can't help but feel the Lord's peace in my heart.

I cried in the shower yesterday morning but haven't since. I almost feel like God wants me to focus more on celebrating my grandfather's life and all the fun memories I have, and not focus on the negative. Like when he would put together model cars and color them with nail polish. Or how he would get solicited letters in the mail from the lottery and he would get so excited. He kept a wall display of fake million dollar bills and swore he'd win the lottery someday. The way he mastered Donald Duck's voice and thought it was hilarious. We kids thought it was too, but I always knew my grandpa seemed to enjoy it more because he was so proud of himself for sounding like Donald haha

I remember him sitting me in front on the TV, where I would watch Reading Rainbow, Wheel of Fortune and my favorite, Bob Ross. I would doodle and draw on scrap paper he'd give me, fascinated and mesmerized by Bob's painting skills. That's where I think my love for painting started. At my grandpa's house. That's also where I think the oldest ever gold fishes lived...he had about three in this small tank. They were like some sort of magical, prehistoric aquatic animal that lived forever. They always looked full grown, even throughout the years as we grew...I always wondered what he fed them or what he put in the water!

My prayers these last few days have been ones of restoration and healing. For my beautiful family to celebrate his life, even though we have to deal with death. For no regrets to harbor in their hearts because truthfully, we cannot change the past. We can however be changed by the now, so that we can be better people in the future.

So, I don't want to talk about sorrow and pain. That's not how I remember my grandpa so I will celebrate his life because he was full of life. He was full of humor, laughs, silly voices, tickles, those moments when profanity slipped from his lips and we kids gasped because our parents had taught us not to say them, and yet grandpa just did! The way he didn't need to demand respect because we kids were so stinkin' scared of him sometimes, when he was mad at something we did, we stopped in our tracks and practically lost our bowels. He wasn't mean; he just had a belt handy at all times and it did NOT feel good!

Those moments when we would sit around the dining room table and his asthmatic dog Nosy would bite our toes. Those moments when I'd sit on grandpa's bed, overlooking the city streets, and daydreaming about doing something great one day. Those moments where I watched Sesame Street while eating a big bowl of Spanish rice.

Those are the moments I want to celebrate. Yes, we have to grieve and mourn. It's natural and I guess every person has their own way of doing that. I choose to address my emotions by focusing on the good memories. I choose to celebrate life...his life. 
Angel Luciano, I just want to thank you for making me laugh all those years. For showing me what it really means to be child-like at heart, to keep smiling and to always be bold about who you are no matter what people think or say. You left your stamp on this world and you will never be forgotten. I love you <3

Click here to view the official obituary from The Hartford Courant about this army veteran, a truly great man.