Wednesday, April 24, 2013

My Secret Sin

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If you read the subject you are either surprised or not surprised. Earlier this year I took a month long blog break to get myself more centered and to figure out what to do with my blog. Eventually I started blogging again under the deceit that it was okay. My friends, it is not okay for me... I have been living a lie, telling myself that blogging doesn't take up much time and that it doesn't interfere with my relationship with God. The truth is,it does more than you know.

Blogging can be fun. Blogging can be satisfying.
For me, it's bondage. Blogging became my God. It became what I desired to put my heart into instead of God's work. Blogging wasn't God's work, even if you were touched by my posts. Blogging became "my work" about what "I know."

I can't worry about your opinions, though I appreciate your friendship. I can't worry about what I've put into this blog and letting it go to waste because it was all vain. All of it.

Your probably going to roll your eyes. Your probably going to shake your head. This is the third time I've tried to walk away and I've come back. Well not this time. It will be the last.

I've received new revelation from my district's ladies conference and from prayer/fasting. This blog strokes my selfishness and need for approval. This blog, though it holds great info and inspiration, has drained me of freedom. You may think I'm being over dramatic but I am not, I can assure you. Anything that you put before God is an idol. Period. This blog has been an idol for me.

I'm tired of building my own kingdom. I'm tired of building followers. I'm tired of worrying about my own goals and pushing God's plan into the background. I'm tired of hiding my beliefs because many of you are different than me. I'm tired of seeking the world's approval.

I'll be spending my time getting back into God's word and praying better. Taking care of my family, our home, and attending my local church. I'll be writing more books and preparing myself for future speaking engagements. I'm done forcing doors open that aren't meant for me.

I would love for you to follow me on this journey. My newsletter will still be active to let people know what God is doing through me. Please sign up here: http://eepurl.com/tu-jH

Thank you again for your love and support. I will leave you with this scripture that speaks so much about where I am right now. May the Lord show you the idols in your life and may you choose Him, always. ~Jacy

"For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:  Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen."
Romans 1:20-25

6 comments:

  1. I respect you for making the choice that is right for you, your family, and your relationship with God. :) I hope your life gets more peaceful, and that you continue finding inspiration in the areas of life you choose to invest your time in! Hopefully I'll keep seeing you around here and there.

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  2. God sees your heart, and the sacrifice you are making for him. He loves you, and is proud of you. Rest in his presence and dance through life with him. He loves you.

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  3. Jacy, I admire your for making this decision. For recognizing something that was pulling you away from God. You are a beautiful person, I pray the Lord would bless you abundantly for choosing to put Him first. For some people, blogging doesn't get in the way, but for you to recognize that it was hurting your walk with the Lord, and making the choice to let go of the blog because of it, is honorable. Blessings to you!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Eva! Appreciate you :)

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