Wednesday, January 22, 2014

When We Expect Too Much

I'm not going to lie. The last few days have been a bit challenging. The toddler has been teething. My husband and I have been praying/hoping/waiting for a miracle because we desire a house rather than our condo. I've been taking some time to really seek out the Lord about our future and asked for Him to intercede anyway that He can.

As I was driving home from a playdate today, my mind was swirling with thoughts like a replaying bad movie. Recycled, nothing new, can we please change the channel? I thought about my life, my family, my art, my shop...everything.

Until a still small voice whispered a phrase into my scattered mess..."You expect too much."

As I typed those words, I literally burst into tears. My heart is heavy because now I see why I've been so discontent in some areas of my life. It has never been about other people or not being content with what I have. It was like God whispered quietly into my spirit to relax because I was asking a lot of a Christian a wife... as a a person.

Not only that, I expect too much from the people I love and when they don't meet those expectations, then it makes things difficult to extend grace and mercy. I expect too much of my husband. I expect too much of my son. I expect too much of my parents and in-laws. I expect too much of family members in general. I expect too much of the church. It's all selfish really...

I always knew I had a "perfectionist" mindset issue but today the perspective became clearer. When I make a mistake, instead of repenting and turning away, I beat myself up and bring condemnation upon myself because my expectations as a Christian/wife/mother/daughter/friend were too high. I understand we should have high standards for ourselves but that is different from expectations.

Having high standards are your personal convictions to keep you in line with God's will.
Having high expectations of yourself and others leads to feeling unfulfilled since ALL expectation should be from God!

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us." 
Psalm 62:5-8

These biblical words I sent a friend yesterday who asked for prayer. I read them at the time and didn't get "that feeling" that the verses were for me (you know what I mean.) Until today.

If we are truly free in Christ, then why do we bound ourselves in expectations that are so high no one can possibly reach? Why do we expect perfection from imperfect creatures? God does have a law and He does desire for us to follow His commandments and guidelines laid out in scripture. We also should shrive to be better in every area of our lives. There is NO excuse for sin, period.

The challenge comes when we realize we need to be better so we make our own plan as to how that can happen. I'm no expert on the subject and haven't studied about spiritual expectations but I know what God spoke to my heart today. It was surgical. It was truth.

Do you expect too much of yourself? spouse? children? I'm not saying that we can't want the best for them but we need to evaluate how we handle our emotions in those delicate situations because it can lead to an unhealthy perfectionist attitude.

I see things from a different perspective now. From how I handle my daily routine, bible studies, cleaning, relationships and business. Too many changes with my shop stem from me expecting too much of myself. As soon as I felt like I was failing in an area, I stopped. We should never stop when we feel like a failure! Jesus didn't die for us to stop trying.

Let us take a minute to glorify the Only Holy and Perfect One, our God and Saviour Jesus Christ! I pray we learn to let go of our expectations and focus on edifying ourselves and the ones around us.


1 comment:

  1. If my wife and I were to start over it would be in INDY. I pray that you find what the Lord is laying out for you. God Bless.


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