Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Mommy Changes & Fears

Today, I feel like being transparent.

Not because my skin is pale or anything...that's another story all together.

I'm getting a little nervous and, well, scared.

I was okay the first two trimesters of my pregnancy, but now that it's getting down to the wire, everything is getting so real...real fast too.

My mind has been spinning with different thoughts and yeah, I know God will guide me through mommyhood....but truth is, my human mentality can't help but go over all of my weaknesses...

What if I drop him?
What if I teach him the wrong things?
What if I lash out at him with my temper?
Can I be the mommy he needs?
Can I show him what a Christian woman should be?
Can I teach him to love Jesus no matter what?
Will I be able to show him unconditional love?
Will I show him the right way to treat people?
Am I ready to be super selfless?
Am I ready to put his needs first?
Can I show him what it means to pray?
Will I know how to communicate with him?

  Source: Uploaded by user via Jacy on Pinterest

I haven't been up all night with my thoughts, but while I'm busy with my day {blogging, cleaning, designing} something will just pop in from the back of my subconscious and it makes me stop in my tracks...
I'm not even a "real" mom yet and I'm leaning on Jesus already! We need someone to guide us and teach us. We need that hope, that solid Rock, a place where our feet are planted as this world shifts around our child...if I'm unstable in faith, my son will be too...
The one thing that keeps me from going insane, is knowing that my Jesus doesn't change...though I will. I will have to change to be the mommy my boy needs me to be...I will have to change in order to adjust to this new schedule and life...I need to change for this new role...

Luckily no matter how much I change, He stays the same...and that thought is the best one yet!!


  1. From one mommy to another, you will most likely drop the baby! Liam was a handful of weeks old when I slid down the stairs with him. Instinctively, I contorted my body so that he wouldn't fall out of my arms and I took the fall all the way down on my side. The bruising was awful. My brand new baby cried, but he wasn't hurt. So, don't fear, you develop those instincts.

    You will learn to communicate. Funny, every child has his/her own "language." You are already in tune with it. You will KNOW!

    You will lose your temper with them. It's inevitable. In fact, as they get older and learn to rebel, it will be a daily occurrence. Just remember, they are perfectly fine to sit in their rooms and cry, because mommy needs a time out too. It's not for their good, it's for yours.

    Consistency with Jesus is like any other day without babies. It still takes a daily practice. Only now you have more things to pray about. I will have to show you the mens's (what my husband called the felt pieces as a child). They are a thing with our family. They make a great visual aid. If you would like to see it let me know and I will take some snapshots and email you. I bet you would have a ball making them!

  2. You're gonna do fine! Just relax and your "mommy" instincts will take over. I don't recall dropping mine. :)

    One thing I have done is take my daughters to church and today they are almost 16 and 14 and they love to worship Jesus! I get compliments on them all the time...their singing, their worship,their hair, and their attitude.

    All this is for His glory. He sure is a good God!

  3. Thanks ladies!!

    I know it'll be fine and I will adjust. Can't stop this brain though haha

    Stephanie, email me some photos! Sounds interesting, thanks :)

  4. Jacy. You are one of the most strongest young ladies I've ever known. Woman have been having babies and dropping them since time began...ha ha. I would bet you that every single mom had the same thoughts as you, maybe worse. Your faith is strong and you know who you are. Your son already knows that and he hasn't entered this world yet. I know that you will know what to do when you need to do it. Your doing it now. Just don't stop.


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