Today, I feel like being transparent.
Not because my skin is pale or anything...that's another story all together.
I'm getting a little nervous and, well, scared.
I was okay the first two trimesters of my pregnancy, but now that it's getting down to the wire, everything is getting so real...real fast too.
My mind has been spinning with different thoughts and yeah, I know God will guide me through mommyhood....but truth is, my human mentality can't help but go over all of my weaknesses...
What if I drop him?
What if I teach him the wrong things?
What if I lash out at him with my temper?
Can I be the mommy he needs?
Can I show him what a Christian woman should be?
Can I teach him to love Jesus no matter what?
Will I be able to show him unconditional love?
Will I show him the right way to treat people?
Am I ready to be super selfless?
Am I ready to put his needs first?
Can I show him what it means to pray?
Will I know how to communicate with him?
I'm not even a "real" mom yet and I'm leaning on Jesus already! We need someone to guide us and teach us. We need that hope, that solid Rock, a place where our feet are planted as this world shifts around our child...if I'm unstable in faith, my son will be too...
The one thing that keeps me from going insane, is knowing that my Jesus doesn't change...though I will. I will have to change to be the mommy my boy needs me to be...I will have to change in order to adjust to this new schedule and life...I need to change for this new role...
Luckily no matter how much I change, He stays the same...and that thought is the best one yet!!