The Dark Before The Morning {Devotion}

Lately, I've been feeling spiritually dry with only spurts of mist here and there. Sunday, there's a spritz. Then dry land until the next service...but even then, being as a Christian mother in church is not about quenching your thirst. It's about giving. And giving. And even more giving.

You can feel drained when the well is already empty. You can feel worn, torn, like God has abandoned you in a pit filled with laundry and dirty dishes. You can feel confused and bruised, unsure of how to teach a little one how to be a great person when you suddenly realize how awful you really are. You begin to see more flaws then you thought existed and begin to lose sight of the river. How can you drink if your vision is blocked by tears of uncertainty?

God showed up for me. Not because He wasn't there the entire time. Oh, He was. It was when I stopped wallowing and started following. When I stopped looking at the water and started remembering the clouds. Without the clouds, without the storm, there is no rain to replenish the soul.  If we want the rainbow blessings, we have to put up with the tragic rainstorms, the lightning and even the thunder of our carnal thoughts.

This life is not easy. It's even harder for any mother, Christian or not. Shoot, it's hard for any person, male or female! You need to hold on with every ounce of faith. Hear me. You will not see the fruits of your labor, of your struggle, of your pain until later. Much much later. You will not see the results of your hard work or the impact of your influence right away. That doesn't mean that nothing is going on. Do you believe that?

Something is working! Something is steering! In the midst of your battle, in the midst of your heartfelt prayers and tear-soaked pillow sessions. The promise with happen. The deliverance will occur. God WILL show up because He is already doing something. When we are at the very end of our rope, God is still holding it. When we feel our fingers lifting off of the edge, He is at the bottom with a large net. When we look around and cannot find a single person who relates or who cares, Jesus does and is with you. But first you must be with Him.

You have to step out of that boat and meet Him. You have to climb through the dirt, out of your personal grave and crawl into His lap. You have to bury those burdens, expectation and sorrows...and pick up His Word while you pick up your cross. You cannot do this by your own power. I can't be a good wife and raise a child without first being the daughter of the One true King! How can I expect myself to have any answers when I never ask the One who made it possible to have questions?

Jesus gave me a mouth to bless His Name. To praise and worship Him no matter what. Not to complain and speak venom. Jesus gave me hands to help and to serve. Not to be harsh and violent. Jesus gave me emotions to connect and have compassion. Not to have self-pity and manipulate my relationships.

The darkness is only but for a moment. It will not be night forever. The morning has to come sometime and that is where you need to find hope. Forget what the darkness is doing to you right now but imagine how much greater impact the light will have! Light consumes darkness. It eats it for breakfast. Darkness has to flee when the light is near. Remember that. Remember the Light.

Recommended scripture verses:
Genesis 1:4
Isaiah 45:7
Luke 11:35
John 1:9
John 12:35
John 12:46
Romans 13:12
2 Corinthians 4:6
1 John 2:8

I want to leave you with some musical inspiration. I rarely add videos/music to these devotions but the Lord led me to them and I was blessed. Take a moment to listen and be blessed as well. xoxo

Kerry Roberts/ No Matter What

Josh Wilson / Before The Morning

Britt Nicole / Walk on the Water

Linking up to:

Devotion: Don't Be The Nail

Guilt is a universal feeling. 

Often times I wonder if other people can see my guilt robed like a dirty garment.
I want to take it off but it feels so permanent.

This morning as I came to an end of my devotion, I skimmed through an old message I wrote about six years ago. I was new in the Lord at that time. One thing that is great about being a new believer is the child-like quality that comes with seeing things for the first time.
Jesus opened my eyes to this thing called guilt. Have you heard of it?

It can be a strong and personal battle within ourselves. Sometimes the guilt within us keeps us from doing God's plan and His work. It becomes a hindrance and a stumbling block.

Our Bible defines guilt in Romans 3:19:
"Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God."

Our dictionary defines guilt as:
"The deserving of punishment because of the violation of a law or a breach of conduct."

When we feel guilty, we tend to wish punishment on ourselves. It's okay to feel bad when you do something wrong...but it is not okay to continually wallow in guilt, robbing yourself of deliverance and joy.

Forgiving ourselves can be much harder than the forgiveness our Lord sheds. We are walking in a society where we are taught on every side that we have no value. Even as the media and the government paint false pictures of liberation, deep down God is whispering to His people "The real love you seek is not with them but with me."

"Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. 
If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? 
But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. 
I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope."
Psalm 130:2-5

We are a stained nation. We are born already dirty.
But Jesus gives us a chance not to stay that way. He is the suds in our spirtual soap, the liquid washing away our grease filled hands.

Don't be the nail in your own crucifixion.
Because there are plenty of people in and out of your life who will be that nail.
They will break you down, beat you with words, strip away your true value and shout lies into your ears.
Stop taking their side! You have hope in Jesus and are not hopeless.

God doesn't want us to hold ourselves back from His hands.
Because the only thing between you and cleansing, is your own wall.

If anything, be the nail in your own wall.

Still That Girl

“You were young, you were free and you dared to believe you could be the girl who can change the world. Then your life took a turn and you fell and it hurt, but you’re still that girl and you’re gonna change this world…”

Britt Nicole {“Still that girl”/Gold}

If there is one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I love a good song. Not just any song. I’m talking about a song that moves your emotions to new depths and gives you instant goosebumps all over. You know what I mean?

The above quote is that song for me at the moment {another thing to note: I love Britt Nicole. Not only can she sing her socks off but you can tell she loves the Lord..and that rocks my socks off.} When I first heard “Still that girl”, I didn’t think too much about it. I mean, I liked the song, but it was just another tune on the playlist. Until I really listened to the lyrics one day while cleaning my studio…I love blasting music while doing that! Suddenly, Britt’s words pricked my heart and brought me back down memory lane…

When I was growing up, I was a dreamer. Surprise surprise. I always dreamed big but I never planned big. There is a difference. So when I started my first relationship and went away to college, those “big dreams” suddenly took a back seat to life. They didn’t have to but I made certain choices that this could not have been helped. Fast-forward to years later, I was heartbroken, sinking in guilt and shame for the life I had been leading.

Besides the details that I share in my book, another important thing haunted me. I went from a “dream seeker” to a “dream doubter.” What I mean by that is, I went from striving to reach big, to talking myself out of my desires. I made up excuses why I couldn’t live life as an artist {“I don’t have a degree!”} and why I could never write a book {“I am an awful speller!}. I started looking at all of the bad I had done and felt like none of it could be erased, so therefore, I could never change the world.

False! I totally lied to myself! I had let all of those negative things that had happened to me be in charge of my destiny. God had a plan for me all along, and though I had dug myself in a deep depressing hole of lame, He knew exactly what I needed to get out! And I did! Here I am, a work at home wife and mommy, living my dreams. I can officially call myself an artist and even an author. Whoa...

I am still that girl.

I am still that girl who loves to stare out of car windows and daydream.
I am still that girl who doodles on scrap paper, notebooks and cardboard boxes.
I am still that girl who laughs at the dumbest things even if I’m the only one!
I am still that girl who loves forts, lemonade stands in the summer and a cold slushy.
I am still that girl who gets butterflies when she sees him {but now he’s mine forever!}
I am still that girl who tries to be positive even when life hands you razor blades.
I am still that girl who believes there’s a God bigger than anything else, and it will be okay because He has all power and control over it all!

The question now is, who are you? Are you still that girl? Do you still dream big, aim high, seek the best out of every situation or have you let the situations of life steal that away? I want to tell you don’t let your past take away your dreams! You can still be that girl, only wiser {like me! uh kidding}

Nothing can hold you back unless you allow it. No one is going to do it for you; you have to be not only aware that you can change the world, but you have to believe it. Don’t be a “dream doubter”, you are better than that, always have been and always will be!

 Linking up @

3 Steps Towards Healing a Heart

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28

As we move into a brand new year, I can't help but think about the year we leave behind. It is amazing how much can really happen to one life in 365 days!

Personally, it's been both rewarding and difficult. I truly believe where trial is, there are blessings...and vise versa. One particular memory for me cuts deep to my fleshly core. It is something that caught me blindsided and slapped my trust right out of the window! Do you know what I mean? That moment when your little world seems fine but little did you know something dark is lurking in the shadows, ready to unveil a harsh truth that has been kept from you.

I know you understand where I'm coming from. Do you know how I know? You have a pulse. Therefore, you have a heart...and unfortunately where there is a heart, there is the possibility of breakage. Have you ever had a broken heart? Think back to how that made you feel. What was your immediate emotion? Anger? Resentment? Betrayal? All the above?

Well, I have got great news: Every heart that can be broken can also be healed! I'm serious. No magic, no special meds, no smoke screens. Just the Lord Jesus Christ and His Almighty power, overshadowing the shadows, lighting the darkness and binding the wounds! With God, the walls and chains around a heart can fall, completely and without fail. We may not be able to trust each other much but its a guarantee; we can trust the Lord!

During prayer one morning, Jesus placed these three steps into my mind. They are the main parts of the healing process. Going through a rough patch in your marriage? Difficulty with children? Someone you love passed on? I get it...and so does God. Here are three steps to take to heal your broken heart:

1.) TEARS
Let yourself grieve and purge heaviness. The worse thing you can do is suppress your emotions. God gave us emotions to be used a certain way. We usually don't use them right and become angry when something flares up beyond our control. Stop trying to make sense of the situation and don't seek a solution right away. When you get a cut on your body, don't you react to the instant pain first, shed some tears and sniffle before grabbing a band-aid? That's how it is suppose to be! We need to give ourselves that moment, that opportunity to empty ourselves of sorrow.

2.) TRUST
Believe things will get better! Pain, no matter how deep, is but for a moment. You never forget it but you can overcome it. Try to seek the Lord, pray, read His Word and hide scriptures in your heart that relate to your situation. Read them every day. If you are following Jesus, that means you are behind Him and He already is ahead! He has prepared the ground for you and knows where you are and what you need.

3.) TIME
Don't rush the process. Understand that even the simple things need time to develop. God made the Earth in seven days...not overnight. Allow Him to work; in your entire palace. To heal your heart, the Lord might take a trip through your mind, decisions and choices. Some things may come to the surface that you will have to face; through it all, He just wants you to make time to abide in Him.

Healing is not a one step, one moment event but an ongoing process. Also every person is different so don't think you are crazy for taking longer or even shorter time to heal. The Lord Jesus knows where you are, what has happened and how you can be restored. Take Him at His word, for it never goes void!

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Sunday Devotion: Your Self-Worth

Yup, you’ve been there. 

Staring in the mirror, thinking, My God, are you serious? Why did You make me look like this? If you have never had this encounter, you are either headless or a ghost, or perhaps both. For me, I didn’t like my smile, my body, or my unique quirks. Basically everything! I thought I was weird and awkward. Most of the time, I still do. 

God has created you in a special way.

He formed everything about you: your looks, personality, talents, and essence. It’s easy to think that we have to look to other people in order to define who we are. What is even more amazing is that God has called us to be someone and yet we often feel very inadequate because of how we perceive our self-worth.

As a Christian, I know that the word “self” needs to be handled with care. We are not called “Self-tian” though we do act like that. To be a Christian is to be “Christ-like.” We have this life for Jesus, to glorify Him. If we are so busy looking at our “self,” our focus gets taken off Christ. 

Self-worth is the value of what you perceive you are worth as a person. To be “worth” something, we have to have a price. If we feel a high level of self-worth, we seem to have higher standards and expect a higher level of respect. If we have low self-worth, we feel like we have no value and no respect.

I used to think that my self-worth depended on the people around me, that if I measured up to certain people who I thought had a higher level of self-worth, it would somehow, miraculously rub off on me. What that did was just cause me to feel worse about myself as a person! I felt like a fake and a loser. I was trying to measure my value by comparing it to other humans.

            The amazing thing is, we can look at the Scriptures, and Jesus lets us know exactly how much each of us are worth!

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:5-8).

God reminds us that each of us has worth; true worth. How do we know? By looking at the price that Jesus paid for our opportunity of salvation! We can measure our true worth by what He has done for all of us: becoming the sacrifice for our sins so that we may have eternal life!

            Jesus died for us on the cross at Calvary, shedding His own blood for His precious sons and daughters. Surely through that revelation we see how much we are worth. When we look at our self-worth, we usually compare ourselves to others, and that is how we determine what our value is. This is awful to do because we are all humans and are all guilty of sin. Why do we seek approval and measurement of worth from each other? When we realize that the price for our salvation was paid by His blood because of how much He loves us, that’s when we see our true worth in Jesus. He thought we were worth His own life!

 

Through the love that Jesus has shown, through His selfless sacrifice for us, we grow to love our God. Your self-worth is not defined by what others say and do; it’s defined by what Jesus said and did!

- Excerpt from Chapter 6  of my new book "The Palace Keepers: Protecting the Purity of the Heart", available here for Kindle/iPad/Tablet users or here in paperback

{JJ&M} journaling series: Take a Chance

 

{entries are edited to protect names & identities}

10/28/07

Will you take a chance?

I don't want my last breath to be, "Please God, have mercy on me. I'm so sorry for not putting you first and not allowing you to work on me."

I would rather say "Thank you Jesus for my righteous and prosperous life. Thank you for my loved ones and most of all Father, thank you for working in my life. I'm coming home." What are you gonna say?

You can gamble with your life but don't gamble with your soul. 

This isn't fake. When people receive the Holy Ghost, it's not fake. When I feel His presence and it changes me, that's not fake. When I open the Book and read the word, what is revealed to me is not fake. And even if it is, if this is all a mistake, it still can't be as fake as what's in the world already!

So if I'm a faker, well at least I have morals, dignity and lived as a respectful lady. At least I lived with respect and love. Not many people can say that, even some in this church, I'm sure. But you know what?

I can't lie to myself. I can't leave this church and deny all that has happened, writing it off as some conspiracy. I can't lie to myself and say I haven't changed since coming here.

If you say you're a Christian but have not seen any changes in your life, then you are not a Christian. We are going to always grow because He is always molding us into the final product He wants us to be.

I can't lie to myself and take that chance.

Would you? Better yet...are you?

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Just Hang On!

Wiggles cuddling with daddy <3

If you are like me (God bless you), you notice your failures more than successes.

You are constantly comparing who you are with who you think you "should be." You look at Christ and realize how far from Him you are and your prayer life is not as lively as it needs to be. As I was beating myself up for letting my spiritual life go since having David, God spoke to me through song.

I'm guilty. When I first hear a message, my mind automatically thinks of someone else ("Ohh so & so needs to hear this!) Afterwards though, I realize the message is for ME first and needs to be applied to ME before I can turn around and try to apply it to someone else..

Like Britt Nicole's song "GOLD":
"This is for all the girls, boys all over the world, whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold" she sings in the first line of the chorus.

I Am!! I may not be the best but to God, I'm worth more than gold! and you too. So...

HANG ON, GOD LOVES YOU STILL!

HANG ON, IT WILL GET BETTER!

HANG ON, GOD'S NOT DONE!

HANG ON, YOU WILL GET BETTER!

HANG ON, JESUS KNOWS YOUR HEART!

HANG ON, YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN GOLD!

I may not be where I need to be, but I'm better than I was.

As long as I keep striving, I won't stay stagnant.

As long as I keep going, keep hanging on, God is for me & He's restoring!!!

So don't let go if you are in a spiritual desert, He will provide everlasting water.

Just hang on...Jesus is still working!