I've started a series of letters to my little baby boy, that hopefully one day he will get to read and (hopefully) be inspired by (if not embarrassed by)
DEAR DAVID...
Recently the topic has comes up a few times about parents, especially moms, claiming they are not suppose to be friends with their children, only the parent. Now you are only a few months old now so you haven't had much drama in your life for me to sift through...however, David, this is mommys opinion...
I remember being a self-conscious, emotional teenager who needed a friend...and not just a friend to have fun with, but most importantly, to listen and give advice. I've been told that famous phrase "I'm not your friend, I'm your parent" and quite frankly, it hurt my heart. You see, son, when you are in need of ears to hear your situation or even to vent frustrations about life, you will go everywhere to find that someone who will stop what they are doing and pay attention. I want that person to be me!
So here's are my thoughts. Yes, I am your mother first BUT your friend second!! I do not have to eliminate that position just because I'm your authority and disciplinarian...I want you to feel comfortable to talk to me about anything, without the fear of me being "all business." I feel being your friend IS part of being a mother! I don't get it when someone claims they will never be their child's friend...to mommy, this is a sad statement and they are missing out on getting to know the child as a person, not just their son or daughter.
I want to know you as a human being, an individual, not just a title of son. You have your own heart and if that breaks, who will you run to? At first, I pray it's Jesus, for He heals the brokenhearted...but second, I pray it's either me or daddy (not so secretly, me first...) Most kids will run to their friends first because most of the time, the parents have never established a friendship with them. What kind of advice/counseling can another teenager give? Most are dealing with their own problems! And though it's great to relate with someone of the same age, it is even better to go to a seasoned parent, who has been through the fire and has come out victorious. Does this make sense?
So, David boy, I want to say that you can come and talk to me anytime. Without fear of judgment or typical adult criticism. I may not be perfect and neither my advice, however I am your mother, and it's part of my job to know where you are at, mentally, emotionally and spiritually...and if you are off base, it's my job to listen to your words and your heart, to guide you towards the right choices/decisions and most of all, to be a Christ-like example of what a friend should be.
Love Always,
Mom
